Illuminated
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: Edward tries to keep Bella away from his family in fear she'll get hurt. Bella turns to Carlisle to help but suddenly they can't keep their hands to themselves no matter how much they fight it and suddenly the wrong feels very right. Bella/Carlisle
1. Chapter 1: Accident

Author's Notes: I've toying with the idea of this story for ages the trailer is on my youtube account for any of you interested the link is on my profile. Please note that there is a large chunk in this chapter taken straight from New Moon which I take no credit for but I figured since this is where my story starts and the original scene was great why change it? But obviously I make no claim to that part, which I have marked the beginning and end of in bold within the chapter and make no money from it either.

Trailer: .com/watch?v=FJAuTAccZ5g

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. I also as stated above and below do not own the bold section of this chapter it belongs to Stephanie Meyer herself.**

Accident

Alice POV

The moment I stepped out of the car when we reached the house in Forks for the first time I knew something big was going to happen here. Something really big. Unfortunately the vision was too blurry and too fast for me to know what. This was a vision of fate not of decision...I would just have to wait until it was clearer.

Nearly two years later another blurred vision hit me. The only clear picture I got was a girl's face, but I didn't know her. Of course that was until Bella Swan moved to Folks a month later. Immediately I recognised her and Edward heard me think it. As soon as he noticed her, he realised he couldn't hear her thoughts and that's when another vision hit me. I saw them together in a car, a restaurant, I saw him kiss her, I saw her as one of us. This vision was clearer as if it had been decided...Edward liked her. Then again as always my visions proved indefinite when only an hour later Edward's vision changed to one of him killing her.

As time passed, despite the fact that Bella was the first human I'd ever seen Edward thirst for like this they became friends, in fact more than friends. I assumed that this would continue until perhaps we would leave Forks when we were too old, leave her behind and she would continue her human life since they obviously weren't soul mates. However the image of her as one of us did not and would not shift no matter what vision I had of her...the result was the same her as one of us.

When we killed James and Edward saved her from the change the image still didn't shift. Even month later when Edward refused to change her, the image still wouldn't budge. Bella _was_ going to be one of us. Fate had decided.

Bella and Edward didn't have the same bond that Jasper and I had or Rosalie and Emmett. It was more like Carlisle and Esme's. When I saw visions of soul mates I would see a certain image. Jasper was my soul mate; that is why I waited for him for so long, because I knew he was worth it. Rosalie and Emmett had the strongest bond I had ever seen, if they weren't my family I'd be jealous. Esme and Carlisle however were not soul mates, their love had been one of convenience, although of course they did love each other. Edward and Bella loved each other but I couldn't see them together forever.

That brings me to the present. I had just had a vision of Jasper attacking Bella mere instants before he lunged.

"Jasper no!" I cried, lucky Edward hadn't missed my thoughts and luckily managed to get in between Bella and Jasper before Jasper could hurt her.

As Carlisle and Emmett grabbed Jasper as hard as they could I tried to calm him down. Unfortunately it was no longer just a little blood. I was disgusted with myself as I became unable to focus on anything but her blood. Fortunately Carlisle managed get through to us, telling us to leave. He didn't have to ask twice.

Bella POV

I knew then, as I sat on the floor looking up at them, clutching my bleeding arm and seeing their faces...I didn't belong in this world. I didn't belong in their family after all.

**Centuries of experience in the emergency room were evident in Carlisle's quiet, authoritative voice as he told Emmett and Rosalie to get Jasper outside. They did so, Emmett unsmiling and Jasper still fighting to get to me.**

**Edward's face was whiter than bone as he wheeled to crouch over me, taking a clearly defensive position. A low warning growl slid from between his clenched teeth. I could tell that he wasn't breathing.**

**Esme's heart-shaped face was ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she cried as she followed the others into the yard.**

**"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle murmured. Edward seemed to think about it for a moment before letting Carlisle past. Carlisle knelt beside me, leaning close to examine my arm. I could feel the shock frozen on my face, and I tried to compose it. "Bella," Carlisle said softly. "Do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"**

**"Here, please," I whispered. If he took me to the hospital, there would be no way to keep this from Charlie.**

**"I'll get your bag," Alice said.**

**Next thing I knew we were moving and Edward sat me gently into a chair, and Carlisle pulled up another. He went to work at once. Edward stood over me, still protective, still not breathing.**

**"Just go, Edward," I sighed.**

**"I can handle it," he insisted, but his jaw was rigid; his eyes burned with the intensity of the thirst he fought.**

**"You don't need to be a hero," I said. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air."**

**Carlisle decided to intercede. "Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he gets too far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."**

**Finally, he nodded once and sprinted smoothly through the kitchen's back door.**

**A numb, dead feeling was spreading through my arm. Though it erased the sting, it reminded me of the gash, and I watched Carlisle's face carefully to distract me from what his hands were doing. His hair gleamed gold in the bright light as he bent over my arm.**

**If she hadn't been in my line of sight, I wouldn't have noticed Alice give up and steal out of the room. With a tiny, apologetic smile on her lips, she disappeared through the kitchen doorway.**

**"Well, that's everyone," I sighed. "I can clear a room, at least."**

**"It's not your fault," Carlisle comforted me with a chuckle. "It could happen to anyone."**

**"Could" I repeated. "But it usually just happens to me."**

**He laughed again. His relaxed calm was only more amazing set in direct contrast with everyone else's reaction. I couldn't find any trace of anxiety in his face. He worked with quick, sure movements. The only sound besides our quiet breathing was the soft plink, plink as the tiny fragments of glass dropped one by one to the table.**

**"How can you do this?" I demanded. "Even Alice and Esme…" I trailed off, shaking my head in wonder. Though the rest of them had given up the traditional diet of vampires just as absolutely as Carlisle had, he was the only one who could bear the smell of my blood without suffering from the intense temptation. Clearly, this was much more difficult than he made it seem.**

**"Years and years of practice," he told me. "I barely notice the scent anymore."**

**"Do you think it would be harder if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time. And weren't around any blood?"**

**"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders, but his hands remained steady. "I've never felt the need for an extended holiday." He flashed a brilliant smile in my direction. "I enjoy my work too much."**

**"That makes it sound too easy."**

**He examined my arm again. "There," he said, snipping a thread. "All done." He wiped an oversized Q-tip, dripping with some syrup-colored liquid, thoroughly across the operation site. The smell was strange; it made my head spin. The syrup stained my skin.**

**"In the beginning, though," I pressed while he taped another long piece of gauze securely in place, sealing it to my skin. "Why did you even think to try a different way than the obvious one?"**

**His lips turned up in a private smile. "Hasn't Edward told you this story?"**

**"Yes. But I'm trying to understand what you were thinking…"**

**His face was suddenly serious again, and I wondered if his thoughts had gone to the same place that mine had. Wondering what I would be thinking when—I refused to think if—it was me.**

**"You know my father was a clergyman," he mused as he cleaned the table carefully, rubbing everything down with wet gauze, and then doing it again. The smell of alcohol burned in my nose. "He had a rather harsh view of the world, which I was already beginning to question before the time that I changed."**

**Carlisle put all the dirty gauze and the glass slivers into an empty crystal bowl. I didn't understand what he was doing, even when he lit the match. Then he threw it onto the alcohol-soaked fibers, and the sudden blaze made me jump.**

**"Sorry," he apologized. "That ought to do it… So I didn't agree with my father's particular brand of faith. But never, in the nearly four hundred years now since I was born, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form or the other. Not even the reflection in the mirror. I'm sure all this sounds a little bizarre, coming from a vampire." He grinned, knowing how their casual use of that word never failed to shock me. "But I'm hoping that there is still a point to this life, even for us. It's a long shot, I'll admit," he continued in an offhand voice. "By all accounts, we're damned regardless. But I hope, maybe foolishly, that we'll get some measure of credit for trying."**

**"I don't think that's foolish," I mumbled. I couldn't imagine anyone, deity included, who wouldn't be impressed by Carlisle. Besides, the only kind of heaven I could appreciate would have to include Edward. "And I don't think anyone else would, either."**

**"Actually, you're the very first one to agree with me."**

**"The rest of them don't feel the same?" I asked, surprised, thinking of only one person in particular. **

**Carlisle guessed the direction of my thoughts again. "Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls."**

**"That's the real problem, isn't it?" I guessed. "That's why he's being so difficult about me."**

**"If I believed as he does…" He looked down at me with unfathomable eyes. "If you believed as he did. Could you take away his soul?"**

**"It's my choice," I insisted.**

**"It's his, too." He held up his hand when he could see that I was about to argue. "Whether he is responsible for doing that to you."**

**"He's not the only one able to do it." I eyed Carlisle speculatively.**

**He laughed, abruptly lightening the mood. "Oh, no! You're going to have to work this out with him." But then he sighed. "That's the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide."**

**He told me the story of how he changed Edward because of Edward's mother. I stared at him enthrawed with the story and with the gorgeous angel face in front of me.**

**He smiled at me. "I suppose I should take you home now."**

**"I'll do that," Edward said. He came through the shadowy dining room, walking slowly for him. His face was smooth, unreadable, but there was something wrong with his eyes—something he was trying very hard to hide. I felt a spasm of unease in my stomach.**

**"Carlisle can take me," I said. I looked down at my shirt; the light blue cotton was soaked and spotted with my blood. My right shoulder was covered in thick pink frosting.**

**"I'm fine." Edward's voice was unemotional. "You'll need to change anyway. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." He strode out the kitchen door again.**

**I looked at Carlisle anxiously. "He's very upset."**

**"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "Tonight is exactly the kind of thing that he fears the most, you being put in danger, because of what we are."**

**"It's not his fault."**

**"It's not yours, either."**

**I looked away from his wise, beautiful eyes. I couldn't agree with that.**

Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table. I felt the jolt go right through me at the contact. For a moment I could have sworn I saw Carlisle look surprised but figured maybe I imagined it because his face looked just as calm and collected as normal.

The drive home with Edward was silent and it was driving me to insanity.

"Say something," I finally begged as he turned onto the freeway.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked in a detached voice.

"I'm sorry." I told him quietly.

"Sorry? For what?" he asked surprised, snapping him out of his cold demeanour.

"For tonight." I replied. "I should have been more careful."

"Bella you're human." He sighed. "This is why I'm not sure having you around my house is a good idea. Accidents happen."

He didn't want me at his house? Near his family? Didn't he know how much I loved his family? How much I desperately wanted to be a part of his family? Now I wouldn't be able to see them much...

Bella POV

It had been weeks since my birthday, nearly a month. I hadn't seen as much of Edward since then. I saw him at school and sometimes after but he never stayed the night anymore and the only time I saw any of the others was at school and that was brief. I hated it. Edward barely touched me anymore and kissing me was out of the question.

I couldn't help feeling that maybe we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore...he definitely didn't seem to want me that way anymore. I hoped it wasn't the case...

He was over-reacting of course but I didn't want to say anything because Alice had told me he nearly tried to get the whole family to leave for my own good but Carlisle had talked him out of it. Thank god.

So until now I had been giving him time to relax and for things to go back to normal. Unfortunately it wasn't going back to normal. Today none of them were in school due to the sun making a rare appearance in Forks. Edward hadn't even called or text me to tell me that they wouldn't be in but he'd miss me. This made me decide to pay them a visit. I would conveniently drop by the house to see Edward and of course once I was there it would be rude not to say hello to everyone.

I pulled my truck up the driveway and got out. I looked up at the house as I climbed the steps to the front door. Before my knuckles even hit the door to knock it was being opened for me. Carlisle stood in the doorway. I hadn't seen him in nearly a month and the sight nearly dazzled me.

With his strong build, perfect blonde hair, immaculately sculptured face and gorgeous eyes honey eyes he was surely what the Greeks pictured when they built statues of their gods.

"Come in Bella, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked warmly. I followed him into the house. "Would you like anything to eat or drink?"

"No thank you. I actually just came to see everyone since I didn't see them at school today for obvious reasons." I replied.

"I'm afraid that they've all gone hunting for the day...Edward didn't tell you?" Carlisle said, awkwardly.

"No...he must have...forgot." I sighed, lowering myself to the couch. But he knew as well as I did vampires didn't tend to forget things.

"They'll be back this evening Bella, I'm sure Edward will come over to see you the moment he's back." Carlisle replied, reassuringly sitting opposite me.

"I was actually hoping to see the rest of you..." I sighed hopelessly. "Edward's been adamant that it isn't safe for me to be here."

"I'm sure in time things will improve. He does these things with the most honourable intentions I'm sure." His smooth voice told me. I nodded but didn't reply. "We all miss you too, but Edward cares about you...he just doesn't want you hurt."

"That much is obvious."I snorted. Apparently the weak human female needed to be wrapped up in cotton wool.

"Bella, are _you_ coping alright?" Carlisle asked, but this wasn't Carlisle asking it was Carlisle the Doctor asking.

"I just...it's nothing." I sighed, standing to leave. "I should go."

"Are you sure? I could fix you a nice warm drink before you head home in the dark?" he offered. "You could tell me what's bothering you."

"What's bothering me is the fact that I clearly don't belong here." I snapped suddenly. I covered my mouth and looked at Carlisle apologetically. "Oh God Carlisle I'm sorry I'm not mad at you."

"Bella you are welcome here anytime. You know that." He said softly, reaching his hand out to squeeze my arm comfortingly.

"Carlisle...I don't belong in your family, or your world...I think Edward has proved that." I whispered.

"You are already part of the family." He replied. I tried to look away from those golden eyes but I just couldn't do it. Then I felt my tears against my cheeks...I hadn't even realised I was crying.

"He doesn't want me." I sobbed.

"Of course he does, he's not going anywhere, none of us are." Carlisle assured me, hugging me to him.

"I mean he doesn't..._want_ me." I whispered. "In a boyfriendly way."

"I'm sure that's not the case." Carlisle said, pushing away to arms length and meeting my gaze. "Don't be silly Bella, any man human or...otherwise would be lucky to have you."

I tried to respond but I couldn't think of anything to say. He could see that I didn't believe him. I felt his cool hands running across my face and neck.

"You are so beautiful Bella." He said softly and ever so quietly. "I mean it."

Author's Notes: Hope you like where this is going. As stated above the bold sections don't belong to me and I take no credit for them I only take credit for the parts I've written myself. Please bear with me here this story will pick up I promise.

Astarte_lydianna x


	2. Chapter 2: Incident

Author's Notes: Well I hope you're liking the idea so far, just give it a shot I'm sure it'll grow on you! As always a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon for all her help and if any of you are Harry Potter fans then go check out her story it's brilliant!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this story.

Incident

Bella POV

I tried to look away from those golden eyes but I just couldn't do it. Then I felt my tears against my cheeks...I hadn't even realised I was crying.

"He doesn't want me." I sobbed.

"Of course he does, he's not going anywhere, none of us are." Carlisle assured me, hugging me to him.

"I mean he doesn't..._want_ me." I whispered. "In a boyfriendly way."

"I'm sure that's not the case." Carlisle said, pushing away to arms length and meeting my gaze. "Don't be silly Bella, any man human or...otherwise would be lucky to have you."

I tried to respond but I couldn't think of anything to say. He could see that I didn't believe him. I felt his cool hands running across my face and neck.

"You are so beautiful Bella." He said softly and ever so quietly. "I mean it."

Carlisle POV

What was happening to me? One moment I was comforting her as any father would comfort a daughter but the next I wasn't thinking that way at all. I wasn't lying when I said she was beautiful. She was. I was drawn to her in a way I had not noticed before and before I could snap my control back into place I had pressed my lips against hers.

The moment I felt those warm lips against mine all hope was lost. I felt Bella gasp slightly in shock but she didn't move away. So soft and warm... I kissed her a little harder, moving my lips over hers until my tongue slid across hers in a battle of hot and cold, fire and ice. Her body was so soft and fragile against my rock hard, cold frame. Suddenly I realised exactly what we were doing and slowly pulled myself away from her.

"I apologise Bella; that was very ungentlemanly of me." I told her. Part of me wanted nothing more than to pull her body back against mine and repeat that but part of me was not in control.

"Um...no it's fine." She whispered. "I should probably go..."

"That may be best." I told her. "I did mean what I said though Bella. You are beautiful and I'm sure Edward will get over his worries in time."

Bella POV

Edward didn't come over that night but I did get a text telling me he would pick me up for school in the morning weather permitting. I did however have another visitor.

"Alice what are you doing here?" I asked, sitting up in bed.

"I just had to talk to you." She said, sitting down on the bed with me. "About today." I panicked and I knew she could hear my pulse racing. I felt so guilty.

"What about it?" I asked her nervously.

"Bella I see the future, you know what I'm talking about." She said. "I just came to tell you not to worry about it. Carlisle can block Edward pretty much all the time by thinking of different things and I'm getting pretty good at it so Edward won't find out."

"Is that the right thing to do?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, the visions aren't clear but I had Carlisle decide to tell and every vision I had went bad but I tried without him telling and whatever happens it turns out ok." She replied carefully.

"What do you mean ok?" I asked her.

"I can't tell you your future Bella unless I want you to change it. Just trust me when I say try not to worry about it and it'll all be ok." Alice said. "Even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it." I stared at her in disbelief for a moment before letting out a deep breath.

"OK...I trust you." I replied quietly.

"I'm sorry I didn't see Jasper go for you in time the other week..." she said softly.

"Don't worry about it." I told her. "How many heartbeats would you have had between me cutting myself and Jasper losing control."

"Actually it was...nevermind. It doesn't matter either way." Alice said shaking her head. "Jasper feels just awful about it Bella."

"I was wondering why I hadn't seen him...please tell him I forgive him and to stop avoiding me." I pleaded. "I feel terrible that he wants to avoid me in his own home...not that I'm there much these days."

"Everything will get better, just think about yourself Bella; what you want, need and deserve." Alice smiled. "Trust me."

Then she was gone.

Think about myself? What I wanted? What I wanted more than anything was to be a part of that family! I loved everyone in it, even Rosalie. We may not get along and she may act like she hates me but she would do anything to protect me I had no doubt of that. She was loyal.

I wanted Edward to stop trying to distance me from his family...his vampire life. He was a vampire, it didn't bother me...but he tried to shut off half of himself from me. That I didn't deserve whether I was good enough for him or not.

I remembered Carlisle kiss. I couldn't help myself, it just slipped back into my mind. It was so wrong and I felt so guilty and wrong that my cheeks flamed at the thought...but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the kiss. It had in fact been the best kiss of my life, however short in comparison to my immortal friends. Although I still didn't know why he had kissed me, Carlisle had kissed me like a man should kiss a woman. He wasn't careful about it like he thought I would break...if only Edward would kiss me like that I wouldn't have been there in the first place.

How could I face Edward knowing that I had kissed his "dad"? How could I face Esme knowing I had kissed her husband? Worst of all how could I ever face Carlisle again without blushing from head to foot remembering his kiss? There was no way I could pretend nothing had happened or forget about it... I suppose there was one good part about Edward not letting me see his family much after all...

When Edward came to see me the next day I nearly cracked when he tried to keep his distance. Didn't he see that I wasn't happy? That I couldn't be happy feeling like he didn't love me?

"What's wrong love?" he asked.

"Kiss me." I asked. He bent down and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. As he pulled away I felt my lips tremble, I couldn't help it and before I could stop them my eyes had begun to water.

"Please love, what's wrong? Don't cry." He murmured, reaching for my hand.

"You can't kiss me Edward, not properly...you won't hold me, you won't stay the night anymore...won't even let me see your family." I sobbed.

"It's for your own safety Bella, you know that." He protested, trying to reassure me.

"It's going too far Edward." I replied. "I want you to want me."

"I do want you Bella, that's part of the problem." And then he was gone, leaving me alone and confused. I hugged my pillow to me and curled up in bed.

I still had some of my classes with the Cullen's so I still got to see some of them and tried my hardest in every lesson save biology to sit with them which was easy most of the time because when the academic year had started it was before Jasper's slip up and Edward's overprotectiveness.

I sat next to Alice in French which was great because she helped me not fail! I had managed to pick up French much better with Alice's help. I wasn't as good at French as I was at Spanish in which I sat next to Jasper who had helped me go from a vocabulary of about three words to knowing enough to get by if I ever went to Spain. In fact I knew enough Spanish to probably live there!

"Bella if you watch where you step you'll be able to sit with us today." Lice said cryptically as we left the classroom.

"fingers crossed for a day without a Bella moment then." I replied, as we went our separate ways for our next lessons.

Well Alice was right. Sort of...

I watched my step but not well enough, I had been very careful in gym class and around any wet floor signs, in fact around anything that could possibly be dangerous. Unfortunately I failed to notice that my shoe lace was untied until halfway down the staircase where I stepped on it with my other foot and tumbled head first down the rest of the stairs, across the corridor and into a bunch of locker doors.

"Crap." I mumbled, rubbing my head and sitting up. Then I spotted the blood on my hand and nearly threw up. Then I tasted the horrid salty blood in my mouth, I must have bit my tongue or lip as well, I nearly gagged again but instead chose the much more ladylike but still embarrassing option of passing out.

I felt something cool on my forehead but it was only there for a minute before it moved and then I felt tugging at my hair.

"Ouch." I protested groggily.

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle asked. Instantly the tugging on my hair stopped and he moved in front of me. He regarded me with compassionate eyes, filled with worry. I swear he got more beautiful every time I saw him, although maybe that was the blow to the head talking this time.

"Bella are you alright?" Charlie's voice asked, breaking my concentration on Carlisle.

"Yeah, I think so." I sighed, looking around me and focusing my vision. "Sorry for worrying you."

"You're going to be the death of me kid, promise me you'll be more careful?" Charlie said, a relieved breath escaping his lips as he ran a hand threw his hair.

"I promise, I'm fine." I replied.

"You fell down the stairs, knocked yourself out Bella; you even cut your head open." Charlie sighed. "I can almost feel a few more greys growing already."

"Dad, stop being a drama queen. I'm fine." I chided. "Carlisle will you tell him I'm fine?"

"She does seem to have no serious damage Chief but I'll check her over just to be sure." Carlisle told him. I glanced at Carlisle trying to portray what I was thinking. I wanted Charlie to go back to work and stop making a big deal out of it, I already felt stupid enough. "I would of course recommend she goes home after this and takes things easy for the rest of the day but she should be fine." I rolled my eyes and tried desperately to get Carlisle to look at me, get the hint. "I'm sure you've got lots of work to be getting to Chief and there's really no need for you to waste your time in the waiting around for us to get Bella's head scanned and checked. As I said I'm sure she's fine, but I'll call you if there's anything you need to know."

'Thank you!' I thought.

"Right...well would someone let me know when to come and take her home?" Charlie asked awkwardly, as if still deciding if he should stay or go.

"No need, school will be out soon so I'll get Alice to come and run her home for you if you like or if Bella's not done by then I will personally drop her home." Carlisle said.

"Thanks Dr Cullen." Charlie told him genuinely.

"Carlisle, please." Carlisle replied.

Charlie thanked Carlisle again and then headed back to work and I relaxed back into the bed with a sigh.

"Did you want to explain to me why I just helped kick your father out of the hospital?" Carlisle asked. His face and voice sounded so serious I didn't know whether he was annoyed or not. "Lean your head a little to the left and I'll stick these strips on to prevent the wounded re-opening."

"He wasn't kicked out, he was...coerced..." I replied, tilting my head for him. "Ouch."

"My apologies." He murmured, continuing his work. "So was there a reason I helped coerce your father out of the hospital?"

"Because he over reacts to these things and I'm fine." I replied.

"Getting a phone call telling you that your daughter is on the way to casualty unconscious is probably rather worrying." He said. "Done, now we just need to get a scan to check there's no further damage and as long as it's all clear and you seem normal you can go home."

"If I was normal this wouldn't have happened." I grinned.

"Good point." He agreed, he looked at me for a moment before adding. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Not you too!" I accused.

"Bella, it was very worrying seeing you being wheeled out the back of an ambulance with a bloodied bandage around your head." He admitted. "I'll be back in a bit, a nurse will be along to take you for your scan and then I'll come back to see the results."

"Thanks Carlisle." I told him.

It was nearly an hour later by the time Carlisle appeared again. He greeted me with a wide smile.

"Good news, you're free to go home. Just be careful not to reopen your wound and don't hesitate to come back if you have any problems." He told me.

"Of course, but I'd probably just ask you rather than come back here." I replied.

"Of course." He agreed. "Now, Emmett dropped you're truck home so I'll drop you home, just give me five minutes to get my things together."

"Sure, thanks." I replied.

A few moments later I was following him out to his car.

"Thanks." I murmured, as he opened the door for me. We drove in silence for a while before I finally spoke. "Please tell Jasper to come back to school, I haven't seen him in ages and Edward still won't let me come see you guys."

"I'll have a word with him." He nodded.

"And please tell Esme I miss her too. I get to see the others at school." I said. "I don't have an excuse to see her..."

"So was that what your trip to hospital was today and excuse?" he joked.

"No, but let's face it I'm probably in casualty as often as I'm in English class so I'll still see you as well." I laughed.

"I'd really rather it if you weren't injured every time I saw you though." He grinned. "I'll have another talk with Edward if you like, I'm sure he'll see reason eventually."

"Carlisle I barely see more of Edward than the rest of you anyway...I'm not sure he'll change his mind any time soon." I sighed, as Carlisle pulled onto my road.

"Is he still doing that? I already talked to him about that." Carlisle replied.

"About what?" I asked, suddenly nervous and embarrassed.

"Not what you're thinking." He murmured, obviously hearing my heartbeat going crazy. "I just told him not to let one slip up get the better of him."

"Slip up?" I asked.

"On your birthday." Carlisle replied, he could see my confusion and seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"Am I missing something Carlisle? Something I should know?" I asked quietly.

"Bella, it wasn't Jasper's fault, what happened that day...Edward was the one losing control." Carlisle admitted. "Edward was projecting on Jasper by accident and Jasper being firstly the newest to our diet and secondly having to manage his own thirst and everyone else's made the move just before Edward did. That's why he's been acting so guilty since then Bella...he's not worrying about what Jasper will do to you, he's worrying what he could do to you."

"Turn the car around." I told him, just before he reached my driveway.

"Bella, I don't think you're in the best condition to do this now." He reasoned.

"I'm fine, turn the car around." I insisted. Instead he pulled up outside my house and leant over to lay a comforting hand on my leg.

"What I meant was Bella, that you still smell of blood." He told me. "I don't think that will help your case much."

"Oh." I replied, focusing on his hand.

"So go indoors get an early night and only go to school tomorrow if you feel up to it, then maybe tomorrow you can deal with it." He said, placing his hand back on the steering wheel. I nodded and got out of the car.

"Thanks." I told him. "Bye Carlisle." I shut the car door behind me and headed indoors, Charlie would probably be home soon anyway and he'd go mental if I wasn't home.

Author's Notes: Stay tuned for more, not that I've set the scene for the fun and romance!


	3. Chapter 3: Interlude

Author's Notes: Here's chapter three, I couldn't resist a bit of girly fun in this chapter so enjoy! Please leave a little review to let me know what you think. A big thank you to JenJenSon for being my beta on this and so many of my other stories and for putting up with my constant switching between stories too!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this.

Interlude

Bella POV

Two days later, I headed to the Cullen house to confront Edward about what Carlisle had told me and to hopefully see the family, but I wasn't holding my breath that Edward would let it happen.

"Edward Cullen, don't even think about it!" I shouted, as Edward came out of the house and headed for my truck straight away. "We aren't going anywhere."

"What's the matter love?" he asked. "I thought we'd dealt with this already."

"No, we most certainly didn't deal with it." I replied. "How on earth could you lie to me?"

"Bella, please understand I was trying not to scare you." He said, sliding his hands down my arms in attempt to calm me.

"I'm not afraid of you, I've never been afraid of you!" I snapped. "How could you let Jasper take the blame like that? He must feel awful!"

"He's not perfect either Bella." Edward replied calmly.

"I never said he was but he didn't lie!" I tried to push past Edward to get to the house, obviously a futile gesture on my part I had no hope of besting a vampire in strength or speed but it was a silly human reaction to try anyway.

"I'm sorry love." He said, catching my arm.

"Edward, how are we supposed to be a couple if you're going to lie to me and keep things from me? Hell you don't even want to kiss me!" I sighed in frustration.

"I don't want to hurt you." He replied, as if that explained everything.

"Edward...you're hurting me now. Not letting me get close to you, not letting me see your family; that hurts me." I whispered, I heard my voice crack and waver but was determined not to cry.

"It won't always be like this Bella." He sighed, holding my hands in his. "I promise."

"Can I at least visit now I'm here?" I asked, I saw his eyes flick between me and the front door hesitantly.

"Alright." He nodded. I grinned and threw my arms around his neck tightly. Maybe he would come around after all...

I practically ran to the front door slowing only when Edward pointed out how well another accident would go down. Alice and Emmett had the door open before I reached it and both hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe.

"I've missed you guys!" I grinned. Carlisle and Esme came into the room and Esme came over to hug me.

"Welcome Bella!" she said warmly, squeezing me tight. My eyes flickered to Carlisle self consciously as guilt started to swirl in the pit of my stomach. I saw Jasper's gaze fix on me in confusion and I quickly focused all my thoughts on my happiness. "Would you like anything to eat?"

"No, thank you I'm fine." I replied. "I just wanted to say hello to all of you."

"Please say you'll come shopping with me this weekend Bella! There's a new boutique in Port Angeles that I'm dying to look in!" Alice pleaded, taking my hands. "She'll be fine and have a great time Edward, I've seen it."

"I bet." Edward replied, rolling his eyes.

"Oh Edward, don't spoil Alice's fun." Rosalie chided. "If you don't let Bella go, she'll end up making me go."

"Who says I won't make you anyway?" Alice smirked.

"Easy, I don't want to." She replied.

"I think it would be a wonderful idea if all three of you went." Carlisle added. "It's not far and it's perfectly safe Edward, I don't think it's too big an ask."

"Fine." Edward said coldly, skulking to the corner of the room.

I woke up nice and early Saturday ready for my shopping trip with Alice. I was so excited to spend some quality time with her that I didn't care how many stores she dragged me into, although I probably would after the event and my feet ached like hell. I towel dried my hair and searched my closet for something to wear, I held up my red shirt in front of the mirror before something on my bed caught my eye. A bag sat on my bed...a bag that hadn't been there before I'd gone for my shower. I went over to it curiously; inside I saw clothes and a note.

'_I think you'll find it adorable and practical' _

I grinned and pulled the clothes out to look at them. Alice had obviously tried to restrain herself and had chosen dark blue skinny jeans and a black sweater dress and a pair of flat knee high black boots.

I heard Alice knock on the door and Charlie answer it. Luckily I was nearly ready. Then I heard Alice asked Charlie if she could head straight up and started to wonder if Alice was going to let me get off so lightly on the outfit after all. Sure enough Alice popped her head around the door and smiled at me.

"Do you like it?" she asked. "I knew you would."

"I actually love it." I smiled.

"Now just to do a little make up." Alice smiled, bouncing into the room and already rummaging through my make up. "Bella, we really must get you some new make up while we're out today...this is awful..."

"Sorry, I don't really do much with make up." I shrugged. Alice sat me on the bed and started to work on my face and I just indulged her, after all it wasn't a regular thing.

"Ta-da!" she beamed, holding a mirror in front of me.

"Wow." I said, glancing at my reflection. I actually liked it. No way would I ever be able to do this myself and it would have taken me ages but it was nice once in a while to make the effort. Alice beamed and bounced back off of the bed.

"Time to go!" she chimed.

We headed downstairs where Charlie whistled when he saw us.

"Wow, I'm not sure I should let you girls go out without a body guard." He commented. "You still got that pepper spray Bella?"

"Dad!"

"We'll be fine Charlie." Alice smiled. "Actually, Carlisle is giving us a lift there and picking us up to make sure we're safe."

"Alright then." Charlie nodded, "See you later Bella."

"Bye Dad." I called, heading out of the front door. Then I spotted Carlisle sat in the front seat. "Alice, I thought you were just saying that for Charlie's sake." I hissed at her. She just grinned.

"If you'd rather I go, that's fine." He chuckled. I flushed; I had forgotten that he would hear me.

"Sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that." I mumbled.

"Clearly." He smiled, pulling out of the driveway. "If it makes you feel any better I'm only dropping you guys off and picking you up because I have a medical conference that way any way."

"Well...it wouldn't be the end of the world if you turned up to pick us up early." I grinned, glancing sideways at Alice's horrified look. I knew I would be exhausted by the time Alice was done it would be pretty good to have a curfew of sorts. Then I noticed Rosalie sat in the front of the car.

"You're not entirely wrong there Bella." Alice smiled suddenly. "We could use someone to help carry all our bags!"

"Oh god..." I groaned. This was going to be a long day.

"Just remember she's human." Carlisle told Alice and Rosalie as we all got out of the car.

"Bye." We all smiled, waving to him.

"Um...this isn't Port Angeles..." I said, glancing around us.

"Really? Isn't it?" Alice asked innocently. "Silly me..."

"Alice we told Charlie we were going to Port Angeles." I protested.

"Ah, but I also told him you were staying the night with us for a girlie night so he'll never know will he?" Alice grinned.

"Really?" I asked.

"And since Esme, Emmett and Edward have all gone hunting for the weekend Edward doesn't have to know either until it's too late." She grinned.

"Alice have I told you I love you!" I told her, hugging her.

"You know she's going to spend the whole weekend playing Bella Barbie right?" Rosalie smirked, as we heading towards the stores.

"I don't care. I've missed everyone so much Alice has free reign for today only." I replied. Alice practically screamed in excitement as she started directing us through the clothes rails.

"I give it about twenty minutes before you regret saying that." Rosalie muttered.

Two hours and nine shopping bags later Alice had paused her shopping trip for us to feed the human. We stopped by a stall where I got some fries and a root beer before we found a bench to sit at. Alice and Rosalie sat also and waited patiently while I ate; Alice kept giving Rosalie odd looks.

"Fine." I heard her mutter. "Bella, I just wanted to tell you before the pixie bugs me even more that I don't hate you."

"Um...ok..." I said dumbly. I mean what was I supposed to say? For all I knew she was only saying it because Alice told her to and really did hate me anyway.

"Look, I don't hate you ok? I envy you." She told me. I just continued to look confused. "You got all the things none of us have; a future, you can grow old, have children, grandchildren, change and you have a choice Bella, but you're choosing wrong."

"I don't think I'm choosing wrong." I replied shaking my head.

"Don't do this for Edward Bella, honestly he's my brother and I care about my family but he's not worth giving up your life for." She said. She looked so sincere; I'd never seen Rosalie so sincere.

"Now that point I agree with." Alice added, I looked at her in surprise. "I'm not opposed to you being one of the family Bella but I want you to do it for you not for Edward."

"I am doing it for me." I replied. "Or at least I want to do it for me...I fit in with your family better than I fit in anywhere else. My whole life I've been out of step-"

"No kidding." Rosalie sniggered. "Just promise me you'll think about it properly before you do anything permanent, I wish there had been someone to vote no for me."

"I'll think about it." I nodded, tossing my empty can to the trash...but I missed and it fell to the ground before rolling against Alice's foot. "Oops." She picked it up and tossed it neatly into the trash followed by the box from my fries.

"If you ever wanted to know anything Bella, all you need to do is ask." Alice added, as we started back towards the shops. "Anyone in the family would be happy to answer any of your questions...well except Edward but you know how he is."

"I probably do have a few questions." I said thoughtfully. "Like what do you do with all that extra time if you can't sleep or age?"

"That's a silly question Bella." Alice winked.

"Oh!" I gasped, promptly blushing. "But surely you must do something else as well?"

"Well, I shop." Alice said proudly.

"I read or play with cars, Emmett plays his xbox or finds something childish and thug like to do...Carlisle obviously has his work." Rosalie added.

"And Esme decorates, over and over again! Jasper has his art and his guitar and Edward has his music." Alice continued.

"So it's just like having time to do any hobby you could possibly ever want to do." I nodded.

And so the shopping continued until my feet hurt so much I desperately wanted to scream about it and sit on the floor refusing to walk another step like a child...although if I did that they would probably just carry me. Just then Rosalie's phone rang. I didn't hear her speaking on the phone, she spoke too quietly but when she hung up and closed her phone she winked at me.

"Hey pixie!" she called to Alice who was gathering shoes. "Carlisle is going to be outside in a few minutes so we'd better move it." Alice pouted but hurried to the cashier's desk to pay.

Sure enough by the time we got outside Carlisle was waiting, leant against his car to take all of the bags and place them in the boot.

"Bella you look exhausted." He smiled.

"Alice." I shrugged.

I slept on the way back to Forks and only woke when the car came to a stop outside the Cullen house. I blinked a few times and felt my cheeks start to heat up as I realised I had fallen asleep in front of them all and knowing me probably talked in my sleep.

"Feeling better Bella?" Carlisle asked, as I got out of the car.

"Much better, actually." I nodded, embarrassed.

"Good, because now it's girly sleepover time!" Alice chirped.

"I swear to god if you start trying to mess with my hair again I will pull your arms off myself!" Rosalie warned the hyperactive pixie.

"That's ok, Bella will let me." Alice grinned; bouncing passed us into the house. Then she looked back and winked at us. "She said so; she's mine for the whole of today."

"OK...now I regret it." I mouthed to Rosalie who just shook her head and tried not to laugh. Once inside Alice ran most of the bags upstairs and then returned to the living room.

"Right; now what girly sleepover thing are we doing first? Oh and Bella what did you want to eat?" Alice asked.

"Um...I'm not really fussed." I replied self conscious that I would be the only one eating.

"No Bella, come on let's make a list." Alice insisted, getting a pen and paper. "Right you need something for dinner."

"Seriously Alice, just a pizza or something is fine, don't go all out." I told her.

"Alright pizza good, and you need some sweets." Alice said. "Jasper." Jasper was in front of us in a flash and I took a step back in surprise.

"Hey Bella." He drawled.

"I've got a shopping list for you." She smiled, holding out the paper to him.

"Hang on can I just add one thing?" I asked, leaning over to grab the pen. Jasper handed me the list and I scribbled my request on the bottom. Jasper read it and then raised an eyebrow at me curiously.

"What? Bella you're so weird." Alice said, having obviously seen my choice in her head.

"Well, I know she can't want it for the reasons I'm thinking of." Jasper smirked.

"Jas-per!" I whined.

"No Jasper none of us are planning on any kind of jello wrestling matches in bikinis." Alice chided him, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "She's just going to eat it."

"Damn." He murmured, kissing her back with a smirk still on his face.

Soon after Jasper departed to get the human food and Alice invaded the living room with DVDs, make up and clothes.

"You know I did have one other question." I said quietly, feeling more daring now that I knew both Rosalie and Alice as if we were really sisters. "When you become a vampire everything heals and you're skin is like really strong right? Well...if I were to be changed without...having every human experience would that mean I'd never be able to?"

"Never be able to what?" Rosalie asked.

"I mean if I change while I'm still a virgin will I be stuck like that?"

"You're a virgin?" Rosalie asked. "Wow...I didn't think there were any eighteen year old virgins left."

"Rose!" Alice said, smacking her arm. "Bella I'm sorry to tell you this but none of us were virgins when we were turned so unfortunately we can't tell you that. If you want to know you could ask Carlisle."

"Or you could just do the dirty, problem solved." Rosalie grinned. We burst out laughing just as Jasper returned with the food.

"I got you a pizza from the pizzeria rather than you having to wait for one to cook." He said, handing me the warm pizza box.

"Thanks Jasper." I murmured. "That's very thoughtful of you."

"Hey you could borrow Jasper." Alice said. I whirled on Alice and was pretty sure my face was purple from embarrassment in an instant.

"Excuse me?" I spluttered. Alice and Rosalie burst out laughing again. Jasper behind me also looked incredibly embarrassed but he also looked pretty confused not that I blamed him.

"Kidding!" Alice said, through her laughter. "I'm sorry Bella I just couldn't resist."

"I'm pretty sure if you're this embarrassed I don't even want to know." Jasper said matter-of-factly.

"Your wife just volunteered you to fix Bella's virginity problem." Rosalie laughed. I felt a renewed wave of embarrassment which could have been mine or Jasper's at this point but I was pretty sure it was mine. He seemed to be coping with it much better.

"I think that's my cue to leave you girls to it." He said calmly, before heading upstairs.

"I can't believe you guys just did that." I told them, taking a deep breath to calm myself, before sitting back down with them, making sure I was right between them and opening my pizza box.

"Gross." Rosalie muttered, as she and Alice turned their heads away from the smell and I grinned.

"I'm sorry, does it smell bad? It smells amazing to me." I said innocently. "So since you didn't know the answer to my last question how about...what's vampire sex like?"

"Bella!" Alice giggled, seeming shocked that I was comfortable enough to be direct.

"Pretty much the same as human sex; just no one gets tired and everything smells looks and feels better." Rosalie replied. Alice started to distract herself from the pizza smell by opening some nail polish and starting to paint my toenails while Rosalie picked a DVD to watch.

Carlisle POV

I would be lying to say I had completely put the thought of kissing Bella out of my mind. In fact I had slipped and thought about it a few times, fortunately while Edward was out of the house or while I was at work.

I tried not to remember it, pretend it never happened which was easy at first but then the harder I tried not to think about it the more I thought about it. Now she was downstairs, her laughter filling the house with the other girls. When I listened I could heard everything they were saying.

"You could have warned me what I was walking into." Jasper said as he passed my study.

"And spoil the first real fun all three of them have had in ages?" I asked. "Think of it this way, your wife is amusing herself with Bella so you get some peace."

"See now there's no way I'm going to get peace after a sentence like that." Jasper muttered, shaking his head as he headed to his own study.

Bella POV

I tore another piece of raw jello and bit into it as Alice unravelled the last strip of my hair from her curlers. I had been Alice's doll all evening in between our gossip and giggles.

"Seriously some of the people you hang around with at that school Bella..." Rosalie muttered. "That Jessica for one; I think she used to injure herself on purpose to see Carlisle at the hospital."

"That's because she thinks he's a DILF." I shrugged.

"Well...despite the crude term I suppose she can't entirely be blamed for the fact that vampires are naturally good looking." Alice said.

"Would one of you ladies care to elaborate?" asked the Doctor himself, all of us snapping our heads up in surprise.

"It's a um...stands for..." I couldn't bring myself to say it in front of him, I just couldn't...here came that embarrassment again.

"It stands for Dad I'd Like To-"

"That's fine Rosalie." Carlisle interjected. "I think I understand quite well enough now." I let out a big yawn, covering my mouth with my hand. "Alice, just don't forget that Bella does need some sleep." With that he left us to our own devices again.

"He's almost adorable when he's flustered." Alice grinned.

"I can hear you." Carlisle's voice floated down the stairs. I slapped my hand over my mouth suddenly it dawned on me Carlisle and Jasper could hear everything we said and had said.

Author's Notes: I hope you liked it! Please let me know xx


	4. Chapter 4: Mistake

Author's Notes: Firstly thanks so much to those of you who reviewed the story so far and I hope you continue to come back for more and that I don't disappoint. So a big thanks to my first reviewers brighteyes343, JenJenSon, JessJess76 and Sinistera of the Akatsuki for reviewing within the first hour of this being up. Also a special thanks to JenJenSon for being my beta and being so amazing!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

**HOPEFULLY THIS CHAPTER IS NOW FIXED BUT LET ME KNOW IF IT'S NOT  
**

Mistake

"Well, I'm going to use the bathroom and then I think I need sleep!" I announced, getting up.

"What? No you can't sleep yet!" Alice protested.

"Actually Pixie, she can." Rosalie corrected.

"Midnight." I smiled, pointing to my watch. "I was yours for the day."

"Drat." Alice pouted.

I headed upstairs taking time as I always did to stare at everything in the house. They had so many interesting decorations and pieces of furniture. I spotted a picture on the wall that I'd never really looked at before...in fact I was pretty sure it wasn't even here before. I looked over the people in the picture and sure enough everyone was there. Emmett and Rosalie looking like they were having some kind of wrestling match in the childish, fun way not that sexual way obviously, Alice and Esme sat together with what looked like paint sample sheets, Edward playing his piano and finally Jasper and Carlisle sat near them each reading their own book. The painting was perfect.

"Do you like it?" Carlisle's voice asked from behind me. I jumped slightly and span around.

"It's amazing." I nodded.

"Jasper's very talented." He agreed. "He's working on a new one at the moment you'll have to ask him to show you when he's done."

"I will."

"I have to hand it to Alice, as bothersome as she can sometimes be with her enthusiasm, she really knows what she's doing and she really has enjoyed today." Carlisle said softly.

"I enjoyed it too; I just hope Edward isn't going to go crazy when he finds out." I sighed.

"He may react badly at first, there's no way to hide something like this from him when he gets back but he'll come around."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, come take a seat." He nodded, gesturing to his study. I sat on the small couch while he went to sit on his chair at his desk, I felt almost like I was visiting him as a patient. "What was your question Bella?"

"If things didn't...work out with Edward and I would you change me anyway?" I asked. I anticipated his next words and beat him to the punch. "It's what I want." Carlisle remained silent and I started to feel nervous. "I mean, if everyone would find it too weird me being around without Edward and I-"

"Bella, you are very much a part of this family." Carlisle interjected me. "To be honest, knowing what you know; changing you is probably the best choice anyway. It solves plenty of problems with the Volturi."

"Right. I forgot about that." I said, dropping my head. Had Edward telling me their secret meant that the family would be burdened with me against their wishes? I didn't even notice Carlisle move until his feet appeared in my line of sight, he had moved his chair forward to right in front of me.

"Bella, you _are_ a part of this family. You mean a great deal to all of us, whether you and Edward remain a couple or not." He said firmly. "I would be honoured to have you join our family Bella and if it is truly your desire to join us I would gladly change you."

"It is." I nodded excitedly, lurching forward to throw my arms around his neck. "Thank you Carlisle, thank you!"

"Just be sure Bella." He added, hugging me back. "You don't have to rush, whenever you're ready, and I would be happy to answer any question you have."

"I'm sure I'll have plenty." I nodded; sitting back again, then remembered that he would have heard all the conversations downstairs. "Anything that I haven't already asked Alice anyway." He chuckled and then looked more serious for a moment as if deciding whether to say something.

"A question you asked earlier, if you wanted to know the answer-" he left the rest hanging waiting for me to respond. I felt my face grow hot but just nodded in response, far too embarrassed to come up with words. "You will still be able to have intercourse after the change if your hymen is still intact, although it is a lot harder to break once changed. So although it's not essential to, it would probably be easier if it were broken before the change. But like I said take your time to be sure Bella either way."

"Right, I'd like to see that reasoning go down with Edward." I said rolling my eyes.

"He'll come around Bella, and if he doesn't then he isn't the one for you. I care about you both and if you're happy I'm happy but if you not meant to be you're not meant to be and only time will tell." He said taking my hand. I glanced up and met his gaze and instantly regretted it. I couldn't look away from his golden eyes.

"I um...I'd better get to bed." I stammered. "Thanks, Carlisle." We both stood up and he saw me to the door.

"Goodnight Bella." He said.

"Night." I replied, hovering at the doorway. Then I'm not sure what happened but we were standing so close that I leant upwards to kiss him on the cheek, instead I stopped halfway realising what I had been about to do. I felt awkward and embarrassed for a few moments before I became unable to think at all when I felt lips pressed against mine. I kissed back as eagerly as he gave and moved my hands to cling to his shirt to keep my balance. Carlisle stepped backwards pulling me with him until we were back in his office, closing the door and backing me against it in a more heated kiss than before. I felt my stomach tying itself in knots as his firm hands pressed me closer against him.

We broke apart and again our gazes locked, this time I saw in his eyes the same thing I knew he would see in mine; desire and fear. The ever composed, control and levelheaded Carlisle Cullen looked scared.

"Um...goodnight." I said, hurrying out of the door and straight back downstairs where Alice was now trying to attack Rosalie's hair.

Alice dropped me home the following morning, I didn't see Carlisle and I was pretty glad I didn't. Charlie invited Alice in for a drink, which she graciously accepted and poured in the sink when we went upstairs.

Alice began re-arranging my room and finding homes for the clothes that she had despite my protests brought me. She also found homes for my new make-up and by the time Alice had finished my room was almost unrecognisable. The furniture was still there but my wardrobe and dresser were reorganised beyond recognition. Suddenly she stopped.

"Urgh! Bella what is that?" she exclaimed, looking up at a fossil on my shelf.

"It's a fossil, it's millions of years old so be careful waving your arms around like that." I explained, reaching up to take it off of the shelf and show her. She poked at it carefully.

"So basically what you're saying is that it's a dead old slug." She said, still looking at it in disgust.

"No, it's a Silurian Orthoceras fossil." I corrected. "A fossilised prehistoric slug."

"Right." She said, unconvinced. "Gross." We both laughed and pretty soon Alice had to leave. The family were doing a switch, half returning and the other half going hunting. I hugged her goodbye as tight as I could.

"Tell Rosalie thanks again." I told her. "And thanks for everything Alice, I've missed you."

"Bella I'm just going away for like two days, I'm not dying." She rolled her eyes.

"I know but...you know what Edward's like." I sighed. "I'll probably be under house arrest for our little stunt this weekend."

"Bella, don't get me wrong Edward cares about you but no matter how long he lives he'll always be a seventeen year old boy and you know how seventeen year old boys act." She said softly. "Don't let him push you around, make him listen to you."

"Alright." I nodded.

"Just remember, you're my sister and I love you." She grinned, hugging me again before saying goodbye and leaving.

"So did you girls have a fun sleepover?" Charlie asked, leaning on the kitchen doorframe with his beer in his hand.

"Yeah. It was great." I told him, trying desperately not to think about what had happened with Carlisle.

How could I have been that stupid? What was I thinking? What was he thinking? Why the hell couldn't I stop thinking about it?

I woke that evening when I felt a cold breeze. I sat up with a start and found Edward sat by my desk staring at me.

"I'm sorry." I blurted.

"It's ok." He said, hanging his head. "I figured it was Alice's idea anyway, it's pretty hard to ignore Alice."

"Don't be mad at her, I wanted to go." I told him, not wanting Alice to take the whole blame. "I just wanted to see your family so much."

"It's alright Bella love." He told me, coming to sit on the bed next to me. "You're human and everything turned out fine, you're safe and you had a good time."

"I did." I nodded; he reached out and took my hand. "Thanks for being ok with everything." Edward leant over to place soft kiss on my lips and suddenly I felt so guilty I thought I would be sick. No...I was actually going to be sick. I dashed to the bathroom and threw myself over the toilet as I started to throw up. Edward came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I was about to tell him to go back to my room so he wouldn't see me being sick but he was already gone as soon as Charlie's footsteps started up the stairs.

"Bella?" Charlie asked, tapping the half open, half closed door. "Are you alright in there?"

"I'm ok; I think I just ate too much junk over the weekend." I called back. I wiped my mouth and sat on the bathroom floor, leaning back against the bathtub. I sighed and leant my head back in defeat. How in the world was I going to go back in there and face Edward? I had to tell him but if I did it wouldn't just be mine and Edward's relationship I was ending...what about Carlisle and Esme not to mention how close Carlisle and Edward were to each other? Alice had told me not to say anything about the first time, it would all be ok she said...now what? I wanted so badly to just burst into tears and admit everything but if I did I risked tearing the whole Cullen family apart for one stupid mistake. Could I continue trying to pretend nothing had happened? That hadn't worked out so well the last time after all.

Carlisle POV

Stupid! Stupid, stupid! I mentally kicked myself as I hunted down my prey. I was so glad that I had a couple of days to clear my head before I had to block Edward out. How could I do that? Something about Bella just drew me in when I should run, just flipped that switch that made my perfect sense of control slip. Alice knew, she had to, but she just kept telling me that although she could see a rocky path she saw everything working out just fine and the whole family being happy again. I threw down the now drained carcass in my grip and fisted a hand in my hair in frustration. I felt guilty, but not as guilty as I should do. I didn't love Esme as much as I should and she knew that, she even felt the same, we were just a good match and good companions, there had never been sparks...but lying to her would hurt her all the same. Edward I loved like he truly was my son, he had been my son for nearly a century and I felt more guilt towards him. I felt like this was a betrayal. Whilst I didn't believe that Edward and Bella were soul mates I knew he cared about her and she was his first love...what right did I have to ruin that? Absolutely none. How would I fix this? Maybe ignorance was the best policy; Alice seemed to be pushing me toward that option. Would it be better to just come clean, admit my mistake rather than live with the secret for centuries?

"Don't even think about it." Alice's voice interrupted my thoughts. "I see only disaster down that road Carlisle."

"I think from here in there is disaster down every road Alice." I sighed, turning and heading back into the trees.

Alice POV

"Are you going to fill me in?" Jasper's voice came from behind me.

"Not my story to tell." I replied, shaking my head.

"It's pretty big though, to have Carlisle panicked." Jasper mused, sliding his arms around my waist and pressing himself against my back.

"It will all work out in the end." I said confidently. Jasper bent his head to nip at my neck and clutched me closer to him. "I do love hunting with you."

"Why's that?" he asked, spinning me around to face him.

"Because when you've just fed you can be so completely yourself." I smiled. "I know it's harder for you than us, it means that sometimes you can't relax and be yourself." He just smirked and pressed his lips firmly against mine, making it quite clear how much fun this hunting trip would be and allowing me to momentarily forget the family's worries.

Author's Notes: Hope you guys are enjoying this! I'm trying to get across the fact that Bella is frustrated with Edward and that they're not the best fit without crossing that line into just blatant Edward bashing. Let me know what you think xx


	5. Chapter 5: Holidays

Author's Notes: Wow that was a pretty good response for my first few chapters. I always like to post at least two or three chapters in one go when I start a story so people can get a feel for it and I'm glad that you're enjoying it! Big thanks and hugs to my beta JenJenSon for helping me with this story!

If you like this story check out the trailer!

Trailer: .com/watch?v=FJAuTAccZ5g

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Holidays

Bella POV

The last month had been rather uneventful, Edward and I had been getting on a little better and he had been allowing me to visit his family on the weekends. It was better than nothing although I still felt like I had to follow his rules all the time. I had thankfully barely seen Carlisle since the weekend I stayed at the Cullen's house.

I sighed tonight was the school's Halloween dance and Alice was making all of us go...in fancy dress. I glared across my room at my costume, as if it would take offence and leave or suddenly burst into flames or something.

An hour later I was at the Cullen house mentally preparing myself for Alice and Rosalie's assault.

"Come in Bella." Carlisle greeted, answering the door.

"Bella, did you want anything to eat?" Esme asked, as I entered the house.

"I don't think my stomach could handle anything to eat thanks..." I replied weakly.

"Alice is a bit fervent isn't she?" Esme smiled.

"Bella! Hurry on up here we're got to get ready!" Alice's voice called from upstairs. I took a deep breath and clutched my bag in my hand before heading up the stairs, where on my way up I encountered Emmett dressed like a roman soldier brandishing a sword.

"Please tell me that's a pretend sword." I muttered.

"Yeah, Esme wouldn't let me have a real one." He grinned. "Cool though huh?"

"Very." I nodded, biting my lip.

"Come on Bella." Alice said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me into her room.

Alice was dressed as a witch; with a little strappy black dress, black flared sleeves that weren't attached to the dress but instead were elasticated at the top to stay on her arms, black stilettos and a black hat. Her hair flicked out at the ends and her eyes were decorated with purple glitter, she looked incredible.

Alice practically yanked most of my clothes off of me before I willingly got changed into my costume to prevent her completely undressing and redressing me. The skirt was short and I kept tugging at the bottom to pull it down.

"Stay still or I can't attach these!" Alice chided. I did as she asked while she tugged up the fishnet stockings and attached the suspenders to hooks inside the skirt.

"Alice I'm going to look like a hooker." I protested as she sat me down to do my make-up.

"Alright we'll re-assess the stockings in a minute, now stay still so I can do this." Alice said, running the eye shadow over my eyelids.

"Are you nearly done?" Rosalie's voice asked, as she entered the room. Rosalie came in dressed as a belly dancer; a pink bikini top with golden detail on bared her perfectly flat stomach, the skirt was made from mostly see through pink material with thicker material only in a few layers at the top to hide her modesty and the slits in the longer part of the skirt revealed her toned legs all the way to the top. She wore strappy golden sandals and a golden beaded headband to match the detail on her outfit and a golden chain with dangling beads sat elegantly around her stomach. I felt so out of place now. "Alice I don't think those stockings go...I've got a better idea."

Another fifteen minutes and I stood looking in the mirror. I felt self-conscious and I knew the by the end of the night I'd probably have a broken ankle from these shoes.

"Right, let's go everyone else is ready." Rosalie said.

We headed out onto the landing where Emmett let out a loud wolf whistle at us.

"Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about ladies!" he called, as we approached him. Rosalie just smirked and stalked her way up close to him running her hands over his bare arms.

"Not so bad yourself." She smirked.

"My, my, well good evenin' ladies." Jasper greeted us. Jasper wore dark green pants and a sleeveless army top, a belt of bullets strapped over his shoulder and across his chest and pretend gun strapped on his back he even had an army cap to match.

When Edward appeared, he didn't say anything. He simply came over to me in almost slow motion and held his arm out for me. I could tell though, that he did like the way I looked from his gaze. Edward wore a black shirt and black pants...in fact he just looked like himself.

"What are you dressed as?" I asked. He flashed me a grin and I saw the large fake fangs in his mouth.

"I think Alice thought it would be funny." He replied.

Carlisle POV

All the costumes were good, and all of the girls were beautiful, but Bella... I had to switch my thoughts into Welsh so that Edward wouldn't understand them. It was one of the few languages I knew that he did not.

I had to smile though; Alice had made a perfect choice. Bella wore a white baseball shirt, only it was rather tight and the buttons only did up just high enough to keep her assets inside it providing everyone with a most glorious view, her skirt was also white, with some kind of black tutu underneath it and short enough that I could stare at the length of her creamy white legs, covered only at the bottom by black legwarmers under which her shoes were white with stiletto heels and on her head, her messy pony tail slung over one shoulder and a black baseball cap...Alice had thought of every detail, she even wore a pair of black fingerless gloves.

I had been for the most part successful in keeping Bella from my thoughts until now. Now thoughts of kissing her and ravishing her came back full force as I stared at her.

"You all look wonderful." Esme was cooing. "Let me get some pictures." Sure enough, Esme made them all pose for pictures; as a group, in couples, the boys, the girls and individually.

"I think my dear, that they need to leave now." I told Esme, taking the camera from her hands. We waved them off and suddenly the house was quiet. With everyone gone the life was sucked from the house. I went to my study and Esme went to the kitchen.

Bella POV

Edward kept close to me; I think he was being protective, possessive even. I supposed I was wearing less than I would on a normal occasion and he wasn't too impressed about other guys looking our way.

"Did you want to dance?" he asked.

"Only if you help me." I replied. "You know how great I am at dancing."

"Come on." He said, leading me in the centre of the floor where other people were dancing. He placed his arms around me and began to move us, this time I didn't need to stand on his feet, as long as he was there to guide me. He lowered his head to speak in my ear. "You look incredible Bella."

I flushed as he kissed just below my ear and pressed me closer to him, this was what I had wanted from him. To just be normal again...

Maybe everything would work out just fine.

~13th December~

Things had been up and down over the past month; Carlisle and I had still avoided one another as much as possible although I feared the others were picking up on that. Edward had been making the effort to be normal but...something just wasn't right. We didn't have that spark that I thought we had; maybe now the mystery was gone the spark had gone with it. I still loved him but as a couple we just didn't seem to work.

"Bella will you hurry up?" Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You know Alice is going to complain if we're late." I started heading down the steps a little faster but not by much. Rosalie and I had been doing a little Christmas shopping, unfortunately with very little success so far.

"Either I get there in one piece or not at all." I replied. "If I fall down these steps it will be not at all."

"Good point." She replied.

"Is it bad?" I asked.

"Bad? Bad would be an understatement." She muttered. Today was the 13th of December which meant there were now twelve days 'til Christmas and Alice had decided that this year Christmas had to be celebrated and celebrated big.

Sure enough upon reaching their driveway the clear Christmas lights began, they continued amongst the trees all the way to the house where clear lights surrounded all the windows and a huge wreath on the front door. I smiled to myself; this was just the outside.

I got out of Rosalie's car and we headed to the front door where Alice and Emmett greeted us. Emmett looked as excited as Alice did.

"Finally, come on we've been waiting for you so we can decorate the tree!" Alice chided.

The inside of the house had magnolia leaves and holly hung in garlands around most rooms, plenty of Christmassy looking ornaments and candles were also dotted around.

Emmett gave me a bear hug before wrapping one arm around his wife's shoulders as Alice led the way to the dining room; here stood an enormous tree that made the small thing Charlie and I had put up look like a weed you'd find in the garden.

"Hey Bella." Jasper smiled, pulling a string of lights from a box Alice passed him.

"Bella would you like something to eat? We even have mince pies I could heat you up a few if you'd like?" Esme smiled.

"Actually yes please, if you don't mind." I replied, I could use something to warm me up. Just then Carlisle entered the room carrying a big box, he smiled placing the box on the floor by the tree.

"Good evening Bella." He said warmly. I smiled back, feeling my stomach flip-flop just from the look on his face.

"Edward did you find the music yet?" Alice called up the stairs. It was still weird to me that when they called to each other they did so in a normal speaking voice. Moments later a blur entered the room. Edward came over to kiss me on the cheek before taking a seat at the piano with his sheet music. "Isn't this perfect?" Alice beamed.

Alice directed everyone in decorating the tree while Edward played Christmas carols in the background. I had to admit that this was the most fun I'd had at Christmas in ages.

"Hey Bella, let's go see about those mince pies." Rosalie smirked, leading me out of the room before I could say another word. Once we were out of the room though she didn't lead me to the kitchen instead writing on a piece of paper a list of instructions that made me stifle a chuckle.

When we headed back into the dining room Rosalie managed to show Jasper the instructions also and I saw Edward chuckling to himself on hearing their thoughts.

"Hey Emmett?" I called on cue. The instant he turned to face me he became surrounded by colourful blurs until suddenly they stopped. I slipped my camera out from my pocket and with a flash took a picture worth a thousand words.

Emmett stood covered from head to toe in strings of tinsel, beads and the stick on bows that had been in the box of present wrapping stuff.

"No fair!" he huffed, shaking himself free.

"Sorry Em." I laughed, "But you do ask for it with all the pranks you pull on all of us." Everyone laughed at Emmett stood tinsel and bead free but still covered in bows.

"And now you're next." He smirked, darting forward before I could blink and sure enough in a heartbeat I sported a tinsel scarf and bow stuck randomly on my sweater. Once again everyone laughed as Emmett took a picture of me with my camera that I hadn't even realised he stole.

"Are we done now, I don't want all the decorations getting ruined?" Alice asked. I didn't need to see the future to know that the next blur was headed for Alice as she found herself tied up in tinsel like an Egyptian mummy.

A few hours later and in my case a few mince pies and a chocolate later Edward was ushering me to his car to take me home.

"Come back soon." Alice said firmly. "I've got far too many plans that wouldn't be as fun without you." I didn't like the sound of that...

A week had passed and Edward had gone hunting with Alice, Esme and Rosalie. This was for the large part because Edward had figured if Rosalie and Alice were here when he wasn't we would be having too much fun without him. So naturally as soon as they were gone Emmett had invited me over anyway!

"Jasper?" I asked, in my most innocent voice. "You know how great you are?"

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Could you get me a pizza? It'll take me ages to go get one and I feel the cold." I pleaded. Normally I wouldn't ask for anything for fear of putting someone out but I was freezing and starving!

"Actually, if you go into the kitchen you'll find Emmett has already taken care of it." Jasper replied.

"Really?" I asked, heading towards the kitchen.

Emmett stood in the kitchen spinning a pizza base and whistling.

"Did you make that?" I asked.

"Of course, one's nearly done." He replied. "I am a man of many talents. I saw an advert for cooking classes on Thursday nights last year and thought with a human around the house they might be useful." Sure enough half an hour later I was feasting on Emmett's homemade pizza.

"Emmett this is amazing, thank you." I told him. "That was really thoughtful."

"I know." He grinned. "You know what will warm you up?"

"What?" I asked.

"Some nice Christmassy red wine." He replied, handing me a glass.

"Wine and pizza?" I enquired raising an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's a great mix."

"Of course it is, indulge me. I'm having some." He said. "Jasper will, won't you bro?"

"Sure, why not. We all love being sick in the morning." Jasper said wryly. I looked at them curiously. "Whilst we can't eat or drink and get any nutrients from it we can get drunk."

"Really?" I asked.

"Strange isn't it? Carlisle explained the details to me once it sounded pretty complex." Jasper explained.

"Well I don't get drunk." I replied, confidently. "So bring it on."

Two glasses of wine, one and a half small pizzas and a whole packet of sweets later...

"900 channels of cable and the best thing that's on is the Star Trek Marathon!" I yelled. "AND IT'S THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS! You'd think they'd show some movies or something but noooooooo! Just men in suits in stupid spaceships!" I was really pissed off, slightly hyperactive and the fact that I had PMS just made it worse. "I'M GONNA KILL IT!" I leapt from my seat only to have Emmett and Jasper grab my arms and hold me back.

"Bella, you can't kill a television." Jasper said.

"Like hell I can't!" I hissed. I glanced at both of them and then we all started laughing.

"Hey Emmett, since you're being sick tomorrow anyway I dare you to eat the rest of this pizza in less than ten seconds." I grinned.

"You're on!" Emmett shouted, reaching for the pizza. Jasper and I counted as Emmett forced the pizza into his mouth at record speed and sure enough completed his dare. "I dare Jasper to run around the outside of the house naked."

"Easy." Jasper shrugged, he took off his shirt and then blurred into top speed to remove the rest of his clothes and disappear from sight. Emmett dashed to the window and I followed him but all I saw was a blur circle the house and back again. Before sixty seconds were up Jasper sat back on the couch as if he'd never left.

"I forgot it's not so embarrassing when the only girl here can't see you if you go fast." Emmett whined.

"Too late now." Jasper smirked. "Bella's turn."

"Oh no, I can't run that fast! Hell I'd probably freeze before I got down the porch steps!" I exclaimed.

"Oh I wasn't going to make you strip, Bella." Jasper chuckled. "But we'll think of something. In the meantime I dare Emmett to write a message on the dining room ceiling in red paint."

"Aww Esme is going to kill me." Emmett muttered, heading to the dining room. "What have I got to write?"

"I know; how about a simple Happy Christmas All, Love Emmett with some kisses?" I suggested.

"Done." Emmett nodded. Sure enough he disappeared only to reappear with a stepladder in one arm and a tin of paint in the other with a roller wedged under his arm also.

"I can't believe you really did that." I told him staring up at the message.

"Alright, Bella; you have to go and ask Carlisle how much your women's problems affects the family." Jasper told me quietly, I assumed so Carlisle wouldn't hear it in advance.

"I what?" I exclaimed in a whisper.

"Good one." Emmett grinned, slapping his brother on the back.

"You can't seriously expect me to talk to Carlisle about my...monthlies?" I whisper furiously, turning bright red in the face.

"You started the dare game Bella." Emmett said quietly. I sighed...here goes nothing.

I tapped lightly on Carlisle's door and waited for him to tell me to come in.

"What can I do for you Bella?" Carlisle asked. I took that as a 'come in' and entered his study.

"I just had a question..." I started. I was already bright red, how could it get any worse.

"Is this a personal problem?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sort of." I hedged.

"Is it something we shouldn't be talking about?" he asked.

"It wasn't about that...if that's what you're worrying about." I told him.

"Then I can safely assume you are playing a game with Emmett, correct?" he asked, turning in his chair to face me.

"You heard that huh?" I asked. He just nodded. "Sorry."

"Bella, if you ever have any serious questions then feel free to ask me but I try to not get involved with Emmett's games because it tends to...end badly." He said carefully.

"Just out of curiosity, does it affect you guys?" I asked, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Sometimes." He said softly. "Only for the first day or so."

"Oh." I mouthed. "So avoid the house on those days...got it." I span to leave but he caught my wrist pulling me until I stood in front of his knees.

"Bella you don't ever have to avoid us." Carlisle said, drawing my eyes to meet his. "I'm sorry I have been avoiding you."

"I think under the circumstances it was understandable." I said, leaning closer to his scent and closing my eyes involuntarily.

"Bella?" I heard him ask.

"Uh-huh." I murmured.

"You are going to have one rather large headache tomorrow; you shouldn't let Emmett talk you into these things." Carlisle replied. I chuckled and leant forward to wrap my arms around his neck.

"I don't think so. I may look drunk but I'm not actually that drunk." I said. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I've had lots of glasses of water in-between the wine and I'm more hyper than drunk."

Carlisle nodded and rested his forehead against mine

"You two really need to stop that." I heard Jasper's voice say. I jumped back away from Carlisle and he moved away just as fast.

"Nothing happened!" I said quickly.

"I was making sure that you and Emmett hadn't gotten Bella here drunk." Carlise explained.

"Sure you were." Jasper said. "Besides I thought Bella didn't get drunk, just hyperactive."

"See?" I said to Carlisle.

Were we busted? Hopefully not because we hadn't actually done anything and the minor incidents before were months ago now, complete history...I think...

Author's Notes: Hope you like, let me know xxx


	6. Chapter 6: Christmas

Author's Notes: Wow that was a pretty good response for my first few chapters. I always like to post at least two or three chapters in one go when I start a story so people can get a feel for it and I'm glad that you're enjoying it! Big thanks and hugs to my beta JenJenSon for helping me with this story!

OK THIS SHOULD NOW BE THE RIGHT CHAPTER FOR THE RIGHT STORY SORRY GUYS!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Christmas

Bella POV

"No way." Emmett said, without looking away from the screen.

"Come on, I promise it'll be fun." Alice pleaded.

"No way." Rosalie told her, as Emmett started shouting at the computer game she had just beaten him at. Alice was trying to convince everyone to go carol singing. No one wanted to.

"I would just give in now Alice." I smiled. "I'm sure you can think of something else to make us all do."

"Fine how about charades? Or monopoly?" she asked.

"What's molopoly?" Emmett asked.

"What did you just say?" I asked him. Everyone turned to look at Emmett.

"Molopoly." He replied.

"It's monopoly." Edward corrected him.

"Yeah, molopoly, damn it!" Emmett snarled. "I can't say it! Molopoly. Damn!"

"Say it slowly." I suggested as we all began to laugh.

"Mo-no-po-ly." He said. "Molopoly...aw crap." We all burst out laughing at Emmett's frustration. I thought it was brilliant that there was something a vampire couldn't do!

"What about twister?" Jasper suggested.

"Yes!" Emmett agreed quickly.

"Fine." Edward agreed also. Alice and Emmett hurriedly dug out the spinner and the mat and placed it on the floor.

"Oh yeah guys, this is really fair!" I huffed. They all laughed realising that I was the only one that would probably get knocked out, since they all had near perfect balance and didn't get tired.

"Hmm...Bella does have a point." Carlisle said thoughtfully. "How about this then, Bella is the only one allowed to cheat until Bella is out."

"I was pretty sure that cheating was generally not allowed either way." I said wryly.

"If we didn't cheat a game of twister would take a very long time and probably get very boring." Esme replied. "Emmett started the cheating thing and it kind of stuck."

"So I have to try and make people lose?" I asked. They all nodded.

"Bring it on." Emmett grinned, rubbing his hands together.

"Four at a time?" I asked.

"No I think we shou-"

"I think for at a time is probably the safest idea with Bella playing." Carlisle cut Emmett off.

"Alright I'll spin this time; Jasper, Emmett...Rosalie and Bella off you go." Alice beamed.

We all stood around the mat and Alice started reading the instructions. It only took about three instructions for me to already start wobbling so I didn't hold out much hope. Winning was never going to happen and I doubted I'd last long so I made it my sole mission to take Emmett out first or if I went down, take him with me.

"Left hand red." Alice commanded. I blushed as Jasper's arms now went either side of me to reach his spots.

"Don't fall Bella." He smirked.

"If I fall I'm taking you down too." I replied.

"Oooh scary." Emmett smirked; he was crouched to my left at the moment and had been very lucky so far.

"Emmett no cheating until _after_ Bella is out." Alice said sternly, obviously she had seen Emmett decide to cheat. Fortunately he obviously changed his mind. A few more commands had Emmett spread out like a starfish in the middle of the mat, Jasper now in one corner and Rosalie and I in another corner. I was now leant over Rosalie; even closer than Jasper had been leant over me...this was when I had an idea.

"Do it!" I heard Alice shout, and then she caught herself. "Well, right hand green! Oh did I not say that aloud yet?" Wow, that was such a good cover she sounded believable. I moved my hand in one space to the green spot and Rosalie did the same on her other side. I looked at her trying to apologise in advance without saying anything aloud to give me away.

I leant my face forward until our noses were almost touching. In the background I heard someone growl and assumed that it was Edward. Then throwing caution to the wind in one bold move I pressed my lips against Rosalie's cold ones briefly. That was all it took to hear Emmett go splat in the centre of the mat.

"Damn!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry." I told Rosalie. We both looked at Emmett getting off of the mat with a huff.

"No worries." She shrugged, as everyone laughed at Emmett's face. Edward growled again.

"Can you stop thinking now?" he hissed at Emmett. I raised my eyebrow at him. "You don't even want to know the vile things he's thinking now."

"So worth it." Emmett grinned.

Unfortunately it only took another three moves to make me fall over as I was trying to lean back up again.

"So now we wait huh?" I asked, sitting to the side.

"No, now it won't take long at all." Edward told me. "Now they can cheat."

Sure enough I saw Rosalie start to shake before she eventually fell over...laughing? So that's how they can cheat? Jasper had used his power to make Rosalie laugh uncontrollably.

A couple of hours later and I was quite pleased with myself, I had gotten at least one person out every time I played. Edward I got out by kissing him and Jasper I had tickled which unfortunately he had projected onto me so we both fell over laughing in a heap of limbs.

"What can we play now?" Emmett asked, as Esme and Carlisle declared that there would be no more Twister for tonight.

"I think we should give the human a breather." I chuckled. "But by all means you continue."

"How about we watch a movie for a bit and then think of something else to play later." Esme suggested. Emmett did not look pleased; he and Alice did not join us for the movie instead they disappeared into the kitchen.

I sat next to Edward on the sofa and then saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as Esme flicked off the lights.

"What?" I asked him.

"Emmett has thought of a game, and Alice has joined him." He told me.

Then I felt cold liquid dripping across me after a hard impact. Emmett stood in the doorway grinning. He had water balloons. Alice came into the room with a bucket full of water balloons as Emmett kept throwing them at the rest of us. Suddenly the room was full of blurs as everyone started an all out water fight. I managed to grab myself a couple of Edward balloons to retaliate with but my first shot failed miserably.

"Emmett you do know I'm making you clean this up don't you?" I heard Esme say from somewhere behind me.

"So worth it." I heard Emmett reply from my left, I spun around and hurled my balloon at the blur to my left. I hit it!

"Bella!" Edward's voice exclaimed at me...it wasn't Emmett.

"Sorry!" I replied sheepishly. I watched as Alice stole Jasper's last water balloon and burst it on his head. I started laughing and then felt another hit and cold-water dripping down my face.

"Got you back." Emmett grinned.

"Only vampires would think that throwing cold water at each other in winter was a good idea!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in defeat. Emmett threw his last balloon at Rosalie, which hit her on the chest turning her white blouse see through. The last I saw of Emmett and Rosalie was Emmett throwing her over his shoulder and then carrying her from the room.

Now everyone stood, dripping with cold water in the living room, the furniture was also soaked and the carpet...Esme was not pleased and I was freaking freezing!

"Perhaps Bella you should have a warm shower and a dry set of clothes." Carlisle suggested. I glanced at my clothes and sure enough my white long sleeved top was also partly see-through although not to the extent of Rosalie's blouse and everyone could see my black bra.

"Bella, let me show you to the bathroom." Edward said quickly, "I'm sure Alice can find you some clothes."

"Sure." I nodded, not daring to look anyone in the eye. I knew where the bathroom was but I didn't know how to work the shower so I was glad that Edward had shown me upstairs. He started the warm water for me and placed a towel on the radiator.

"I'm sorry, sometimes my family forget that you're human." He told me.

"It's fine." I replied.

"No, it's not safe for you." He said quietly.

"I'm perfectly safe." I replied, walking into the bathroom. Unfortunately wet feet and tiles don't mix. I slipped backwards and felt my head smack against something sharp before hitting the tiles. I groaned and opened my eyes, I saw Edward leaning over me. He was shaking, his eyes black...then he blurred from my vision and everything went black.

Carlisle POV

Everyone save Jasper was upstairs in a heartbeat. Jasper had wisely decided to stay a safe distance from Edward and try to block out Edward's bloodlust.

When we entered the bathroom we saw Edward lunging for Bella's throat but Alice, Emmett and I managed to grab him first. Edward snarled and fought but was quickly escorted from the room by Emmett, having obviously been interrupted because he only wore his jeans, and Alice.

I could hear Alice asking Jasper if he could help calm Edward but Jasper refused, explaining that if he let his guard down they would be fighting to keep to vampires off of Bella. I understood his position; he didn't want to lose control of himself. Emmett, Rosalie and Esme escorted Edward from the house. I assumed they would take him far enough away that he could calm down and hunt before returning.

Alice came back upstairs with Jasper to assess the situation.

Bella was still unconscious on the floor and bleeding from her head, although not heavily thank god. It looked like she'd hit her head on the towel rack next to the door on her way down to the ground. I checked her over quickly to make sure her vitals were still normal.

"Bella can you hear me?" I asked, shaking her ever so lightly. No response. "You did really well Jasper." I took the time to tell him. "You two can go downstairs if you like; wait for word from the others. Alice could you tell Charlie Bella will be staying the night? It's either that or hospital and I think she'd rather be here."

"Of course." She replied. "I'll get her some dry clothes too." Alice disappeared with Jasper having gone moments before her, leaving me to focus on Bella.

"Bella." I called again. I carefully examined the wound on her head finding a cloth to wash the blood away to see it better.

"Ouch..." I heard her groan.

"Bella can you hear me?" I asked her softly.

"Carlisle?" she opened her eyes and stared up at me. "Urgh...I did it again didn't I?" I chuckled at her weak attempt to lighten the mood. At least she didn't appear to have any serious damage.

"You are particularly accident prone." I replied. "Alright, do you think we can sit you up? Slowly." I helped her sit up and leant her against the wall carefully.

"Where's Edward?" she asked.

"He's gone to hunt." I replied carefully.

"Did he try to..." she left it hanging.

"He got pretty close, but he wouldn't have hurt you Bella." I told her. "And we were all here to keep you safe."

"So Jasper didn't-"

"Jasper stayed downstairs until Edward was out of the house, he was fine and even came up to see how you were. I'm very proud of him." I told her, using an alcohol wipe to clean her wound. "Sorry." I told her as she winced. "At least you won't need stitches, it's not that bad."

"I certainly manage to clear your house on special occasions." She sighed.

"It's not your fault Bella." I murmured.

"Edward's going to avoid me again now isn't he?" she asked, not really looking for an answer. "And you can bet I won't be allowed over again for like forever."

"You're getting ahead of yourself Bella." I said, putting the wipes into the small bin. "There's no point worrying about what might happen until it does."

"Why don't you just bite me already?" she sighed, hanging her head. I suppressed the urge to take her up on that and turned to sit next to her.

"Bella, when you're ready I will change you but only when you're ready." I told her, squeezing her leg supportively. Or it was intended that way until her eyes lifted to stare at my hand and then turned to look me in the eye.

"Alright." She replied. "I guess a little while longer won't hurt."

"That's my girl." I told her. "Let's run you a nice warm bath." I got up and started the taps; Alice had turned the shower off when we had first entered the bathroom. I heard Bella's heart pounding behind me and turned to find her face flushed. "Don't worry Bella, I'll send Alice in to help you."

I helped her carefully to her feet and as she stood her gaze met mine, not wavering no matter how nervous she was.

"I wasn't worried." She breathed. I almost let go of her and let her fall back down on hearing those words but chose instead to tactfully ignore them. Then I was saved by a knock at the door and Alice coming in with a pile of clothes in her arms.

"OK Bella, let's get you in the bath." She said cheerfully. Satisfied Bella would be alright on her own feet I let go of her and bowed my head, excusing myself from the room. I was damned. I knew now why I had felt like I was in physical pain when I saw Bella on the floor. I was falling in love with Bella Swan, and that was most inappropriate...

Author's Notes: Hope you like. Can't have all smooth sailing now can we.


	7. Chapter 7: Ice

Author's Notes: I'm glad that people are beginning to get into this story and thank you to all of those of you who left a review! Another special thanks to those of you who are readers of several of my stories! And a huge thanks to my beta JenJenSon for being my beta even when I send her chapters at 2am! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please everyone try not to shoot me!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Ice

Bella POV

Over a month had passed and I hadn't seen Edward since that day. I still went to the Cullen house but it had become pretty clear that Carlisle was now definitely avoiding me. I had only seen Carlisle once since that day and that was on Christmas day when Alice made everyone sit around and exchange gifts.

What was I supposed to do now? I knew by now that Edward and I weren't soul mates and to be honest...although I loved him I wasn't head over heels in love with him either. I couldn't talk to him about that if he wasn't here and it still hurt that he would just completely cut me off like he had. What surprised me more was that it was Carlisle avoiding me that hurt the most...

Alice had promised everything would be all right and that she saw everything working out just fine. She had also gotten me into many shopping trips by telling me she had seen it cheering me up.

"Are you ladies quite done yet?" Jasper asked, from somewhere underneath the bags Alice had buried him under.

"You offered to come." Alice replied.

"Because I didn't want to stay in the ice house." He muttered.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. He looked hesitant for a moment as if he were choosing his words carefully.

"Carlisle wants Edward to come back, he feels guilty about...something." he said tactfully. "Esme is avoiding him and he's avoiding her and within the same house that's pretty interesting. It makes us all and me in particular rather uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry." I said quietly.

Now I knew what I had to do. I had to leave them alone. After today I would have to avoid the whole family and let them go back to how they were before. If I was out of the picture Edward could come back and everyone would go back to normal. I would miss them terribly and I loved them all so much. I loved them enough to know that I was putting too great a strain on their family.

I had gone to Port Angeles by myself today; I'd gone and gotten another book from the Quileute bookstore I had visited before. Jake had been avoiding me and I wanted to know why...

As I got back into my truck I spotted a couple of snowflakes landing on the windscreen and shivered from the cold. I should have taken that as my warning.

By the time I reached Forks I had my wipers on full speed to clear the snow. I was grateful Charlie had done my tyres again this year as the snow crunched under them. Then next thing I knew a car came out of the side road at me. I slammed my foot on the brake but it did nothing and the next thing I knew I heard a sickening bang and metal hit metal.

I blinked a few times to clear my head and take in what had just happened. My foot hurt like hell but I seemed to be all in one piece. I looked out of the windscreen, which was still in one piece and saw the silver car embedded in my truck. I reached for my phone and opened my door to get out of the truck. My foot was stuck. That's why it hurt so much...

"Hey are you OK?" I called out of the door. The other driver didn't respond, their car looked worse off. My hands shook as I dialled '911'. "H-Hey, I need an ambulance..."

"Can I take your location?" the voice on the line asked calmly. I gave them as many details I could about my location, my condition and then other driver's. I sat and waited for the ambulance and tried to move my foot. Then my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered, not recognising the number.

"Bella where are you?" it was Carlisle's voice.

"Carlisle." I said in relief, tears threatening to fall. "I'm stuck in my truck, I'm on the main road into town just past the sign."

"I'll be there in two minutes." He told me.

"Carlisle don't hang up." I said desperately. I didn't want to sit here alone waiting for the ambulance. I was scared. The other driver still hadn't moved.

"Bella, I'll be with you in two minutes I promise." He told me, hanging up. I dropped my phone and let the tears fall.

Fortunately Carlisle was true to his word and only a few minutes later I heard a car pull up and looked in my mirror to see that it was his. He immediately came to my driver door and flung it open.

I saw him assessing me for serious injuries before he allowed me to wrap my arms tightly around him for a moment.

"Does your foot hurt?" he asked. I nodded. "Alright, let me have a look and I'll get you out of here." He bent down and I heard him bend the metal of my pedal and soon my foot was free. "It doesn't look too bad; it might be broken though so let's go carefully." He helped me out of the car and moved me to sit in his car before going to look at my injuries.

"Carlisle go check the other driver." I told him.

"I will, but right now you're more important." He replied.

"No, Carlisle. You can see that I'll survive, please go check the other driver, they could be hurt." I said firmly. He nodded and headed over to the wreck. I felt my tears start to fall again as I thought about what had happened.

It was a good few minutes when Carlisle returned but when he did he returned with the other passenger in his arms just in time to see the ambulance coming down the road.

The paramedics took the other woman from Carlisle and took over, Carlisle returned to me.

"She doesn't seem to have any serious injuries I think she just hit her head on the window pretty hard." He told me, lifting his first aid pack and starting to wipe a cut on my head that I hadn't even realised I had.

"Ouch." I muttered, touching my head where he was wiping.

"I've just disinfected that." He chided. "Looks like you hit the windscreen or the steering wheel pretty hard. Do you remember what happened?"

"The weather was pretty bad, the car just came straight out of the side road...I braked but nothing happened." I replied. Just then a police officer came up to the car.

"Miss Swan are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so." I replied. The officer asked a few questions and took some details before telling me that my dad was on his way back from his training course in Seattle right now. Carlisle took care of my foot finding no broken bones and only a pretty nasty bruise and a scrape on the top.

"I'd better ring my dad." I said, as Carlisle gently laid my foot down.

"Alright, I'll just go have a word with the paramedics and see if we can get you home. I don't think hospital is necessary." Carlisle said, standing up.

I called Charlie, he didn't answer so I left a message. "Hey it's just me. I just wanted to call you, yes I had an accident, but I'm fine so don't hurry home in this weather and get yourself in an accident too. Carlisle's check me over and I'm fine so...I'll see you when you get home."

"The officers are going to have your truck towed, I'm afraid it's going to be a write off." Carlisle told me as he returned to his car. "I'll take you home." I shuffled myself from the driver seat to the passenger seat of the car and strapped myself in. Carlisle climbed in also and started the car.

"Thanks." I told him quietly. "You didn't have to come to find me." It was the truth, he didn't have to come out here to find me, treat me himself and take me home...especially after I had avoided him for nearly two months now.

"Yes I did." He replied. I waited for a further explanation but none came and soon enough he pulled into my driveway. I half expected to see my truck there forgetting that I had even crashed it.

"I can't believe I crashed my homecoming present..." I groaned.

"If you would like lift's to and from school I'm sure one of us could drive you until you find something, you could even borrow this car if you would like I have another I could drive." Carlisle offered.

"I don't think I'd be comfortable driving a car like this, but thanks." I replied. "Lifts would be great though." Carlisle got out of the car and I made to do the same, he reached me before my feet touched the ground though and lifted my arm around his shoulders to support me out of the car and to the house. I was going to say I could probably walk but I knew he would only argue that if I wanted my foot to get better quickly I shouldn't...besides with his body pressed against mine and the smell of him so close I doubted I would actually be able to remember how to talk coherently anyway.

"Upstairs or downstairs?" he asked me as I unlocked the front door. I could think of a million different answers to that question but chose to ignore them.

"Upstairs, my room please." I replied. "At least it saves Charlie helping me up there later." Carlisle gracefully swept my legs from under me and lifted me easily into his arms to carry me up the stairs before lowering me down again at the top and supporting me the rest of the way to my room. "And I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been that easy for Charlie." I grinned as I sat down on my bed.

"Do you need anything?" Carlisle asked. I shook my head, no. "Alright, well I'm fairly certain that you do not have a concussion but just to air on the side of caution I would advise against you going to sleep for the next hour or two."

"In which case go ahead and bring me the TV from downstairs!" I laughed and he just gave me a look that implied he would do just that if I asked. "Kidding, I'll just put some music on and read for a bit, maybe email my mum to let her know I'm alright before Charlie tells her I nearly died or something."

"Did you want me to wait with you until Charlie gets home in case you need anything?"

"I'm fine...although if you could tell Charlie I'm really alright to stop him having a heart-attack I'd appreciate it." I replied. "Thank you Carlisle, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up today."

"No matter what happens, I will always be there when you need me Bella." He said softly, crouching down in front of me. Silence fell and we both waited awkwardly for something to say, he seemed hesitant to look at me and it made me wonder why.

"Edward's not coming back is he." I said quietly. It wasn't a question; I already knew the answer.

"Not yet." Carlisle replied. "He will eventually but he is still ashamed of his own behaviour. He went to stay with some friends of ours for a while; Alice said she has seen him decide to do a little travelling to clear his head before returning home."

"By a while...does that mean until I-I...until I'm gone?" I stammered.

"No, of course not." He murmured, taking my hands in his. "Bella he does care about you, I am certain he will at least call you soon and let you know what he plans to do."

"I've ruined your family." I sobbed. "That's why I've been trying to keep a distance for the last month...to start with, with Edward gone I was alright because I still got to spend time with everyone else but then I realised that your whole family was suffering because of me...I decided I had to stay away."

"I did wonder." He murmured, stroking my hands with his thumbs in a calming gesture. "Alice has been so frustrated trying to figure out why you've been avoiding everyone. I thought it was my fault." I finally met his gaze acknowledging the topic neither of us had actually spoken about. "Bella I apologise for avoiding you, I thought that if I did it would help, that it would make it easier."

"You don't need to apologise Carlisle." I sniffled.

"Yes Bella, I do. I should have known that this wouldn't go away because I chose to ignore it." He said so quietly I barely heard him. "I'm sorry." He said again, leaning up so that he could look at my face. Tingles travelled through my body and I knew he would be able to heard my heart pounding in my chest, he was so close...

He gently slid one hand up my arm to my shoulder. The fingers travelled up further until he caught my chin and raising my face until our gazes locked again. Without thinking I leant forward and drove my lips forcibly against his.

His response was instantaneous as he groaned then opened his mouth, his lips brushing over mine, coaxing me into a deeper kiss. My arms weakly wound themselves around his neck, clinging to him as he dominated the kiss. He pulled back for a moment and I held my breath anxiously not wanting him to stop.

"Tell me to stop Bella..." he whispered against my lips, "Tell me to stop before I cannot." I opened my eyes to look at him, I felt my stomach flip as I stared into the most mesmerizing golden eyes, no longer pale honey but now a richer golden colour, deeper and darker, inviting me in... His eyes searched mine but I couldn't respond, all I wanted was for him to kiss me again.

He bent his head and began to inhale my scent at my neck; he kissed there before licking slowly up to my ear causing a small gasp to leave my lips. "Tell me to stop before it's too late..." he murmured against my ear. His hand travelled into my hair drawing out a weak groan from me at the feelings he was causing. I felt almost dizzy. I tried to remember how to breathe and gulped.

"I can't." I croaked. Instantly Carlisle's grip on me tightened and his lips crashed into mine again, his tongue curling over mine as he gently pushing me back into the bed until I found myself pressed intimately against his body as I began to kiss him back eagerly. I clung to him harder although to him it may not have felt like it. I felt a slight sting and then Carlisle pulled away with a groan.

I tasted the metallic flavour of blood in my mouth and ran my tongue across my lip. I guess we may have gotten a little carried away.

"Damn." Carlisle murmured, lifting himself back up and standing. I lay on my bed for the count of a few deep breaths before sitting up. I couldn't think of anything to say, what in the world could I say?

Carlisle POV

Bella had my control slipping like nothing ever had; she was the most tempting person I had ever faced... I could still taste the drop of her blood that my sharp teeth had drawn from her. What could I do?

I couldn't deny what Bella was to me anymore than I could live off of human food.

"Bella...what are we doing here?" I asked, sitting on the bed and lowering my head into my hands.

"I don't know." She whispered. "What should we do now?" I lifted my head to look into her solemn chocolate ones and knew I would never be able to resist her.

"You are very important to me mia cara, but what we're doing is also wrong." I told her softly. "We cannot continue like this."

"I don't want to ruin your family anymore than I already have Carlisle..." Bella said, her voice cracking. "I've already done quite enough."

"We have two choices; the first would be to tell everyone and let the pieces fall where they may." I said calmly, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it as tight as I dare. "The second is that this ends tonight and we may never speak of it again, we can never be alone together or even too close to each other and pretend it never happened."

"Can you do that...with Jasper and Edward?" she asked.

"It will be hard but I am fairly certain I can keep my thoughts safe." I nodded.

"I'm not destroying your family Carlisle, I won't do it." She said firmly. "You have all done so much for me so I can do this for you. I think I'll go and spend some time at La Push with my friend Jacob."

"That would provide suitable distance." I conceded. "Is that your choice Bella? Pretend it never happened?"

"I will never be able to pretend it never happened...but I can stay away if that's what it takes to keep your family together." She murmured.

"Very well, as of tomorrow this never happened." I nodded. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm the uneasy feeling growing at the thought of not having Bella in my life at all. If tomorrow I would have to give up Bella forever I was damn well going to make the most of right now. I let go of her hand and slid my fingertips up her arm slowly, skimming her shoulders and throat before cupping her chin and turning her head towards me. I could still see her tears in her eyes and it wrenched at my insides, how could I have let this happen in the first place? Why? Why would the fates be so cruel to give me the gift of a family, a son I loved only to give me love for a beautiful woman...one my son already saw as his own?

I gently kissed at her lips, brushing mine over hers slowly and enjoying every moment. I felt wetness press against my cheek and knew that she was crying. I kissed her harder, my frustration working its way out. Bella moved her lips never leaving mine as she worked her way onto my lap. I clung to her as I felt her kissing me back with the same passion and anger that I felt. Her fingers dug into my shoulders and back as hard as she could and I could feel her trembling from her tears as we kissed almost desperately. I pulled away reluctantly and slowly both of us standing up as we heard the door open downstairs.

I kissed her again trying to show her that I loved her, though I dared not say the words I just wanted her to know.

Bella POV

This kiss was the most perfect kiss I had ever felt. I couldn't even begin to describe it. It broke my heart to know that this would be goodbye. Suddenly his lips were gone and when my eyes fluttered open Carlisle was nowhere to be seen. I heard him talking to my father downstairs and choked back a sob. I didn't want to face my father now...

I quickly scrambled to my bed and pretended to be asleep, gripping my covers tightly in my hands to hold back the sobs threatening to escape my throat.

Carlisle was gone...


	8. Chapter 8: Contemplation

Author's Notes: I'm glad that people are beginning to get into this story and thank you to all of those of you who left a review! Another special thanks to those of you who are readers of several of my stories! And a huge thanks to my beta JenJenSon for being my beta even when I send her chapters at 2am! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please everyone try not to shoot me!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Contemplation

Carlisle POV

Leaving Bella in that room without another word was the single hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I would gladly taste human blood and stop myself a million times over if it meant never having to walk away from Bella again.

_Nowhere to go, not leaving, not going.  
I'm not kissing you goodbye.  
On my own, I'm nothing, just bleeding.  
I'm not kissing you goodbye._

I knew if I told her that I loved her I would never be able to leave, part of me still hoped she'd change her mind but I knew neither situation was a winning one. The stakes were high, risk losing my family or risk losing Bella...and she had been the one to choose for me. I was grateful that I hadn't had to make the decision myself...because part of me was thinking Bella was worth the risk.

If I had never kissed her, this may never have happened...I wanted nothing more than to go to her and to beg her to change her mind.

"Alice?" I asked the dark haired imp as she passed the doorway.

"I can't see anything Carlisle. Nothing stays the same long enough for me to see anything." She replied quietly. "Carlisle the future is what you decide not what I tell you will happen. This one is up to you." So Alice had finally stepped back and stopped telling us the future, right when I just wanted someone to tell me what to do.

This was what Bella had decided, was she regretting her choice now? Would she later? Would she ever? I couldn't imagine never speaking to her again. I already felt like she was my Bella.

_Don't let me go, Don't say goodbye.  
'Cause you know that I'm not alive.  
Don't let me go, Don't say goodbye.  
Don't let this love die._

Bella POV

I had stayed in my room the whole of the next day; Charlie just assumed it was due to the accident. After that I had decided that no matter how miserable I was...hiding in my room wasn't going to help. I allowed myself that one-day to be sad, and to cry. The next day would be a new day, a fresh start.

I asked Charlie to give me a lift to La Push and he was more than happy to accept. He seemed to love me spending any time with Jacob and his friends.

"Bella!" Jacob called, as I got out of the Charlie's cruiser. He jogged over to us and I smiled and waved at him. Moments later he threw his arms around me and spun me around in the air. He waved at Charlie's car pulling away and glanced down at my delicately placed foot.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey, I guess walking is out for the day huh?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's a lot better already though." I shrugged. "It'll probably be fine in a few days..." Jake supported my weight and we headed towards his garage.

"Over here, there's a seat." He said, leading me to the small couch covered by a large blanket. "Did you get it checked out?"

"Yeah C-...Dr. Cullen looked at it for me." I replied, I couldn't say his name. At least when I thought of Dr. Cullen the picture in my head was the beautiful doctor that strode into the emergency room the first day I met him, a stranger compared to... It didn't matter what I said I couldn't stop my mind from picturing his face. I sighed and leant back into the couch throwing my head back and staring at the ceiling as if someone up there could help me.

_This is the place where I sit,_

_This is the part where I love you too much,_

_This is as hard as it gets,_

'_Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough..._

"So your truck is pretty bad huh?" he asked, sitting next to me.

"Yeah." I couldn't help but laugh. "Pretty bad."

"But Charlie said the other driver was fine other than a knock to the head so as long as you're both alright that's what matters right?" he said, nudging my shoulder with his.

"Yeah." I sighed. I could barely remember the accident; it was practically the last thing on my mind but I was determined to avoid moping around. I needed distractions. "So now I'm going to need a new car."

"Did you have anything in mind?" Jake asked.

"Not really, just something less than eight-hundred dollars that's all I can spare from my college savings." I replied. "So probably not a great car...Charlie said he may be able to help a little but I feel bad because he already brought me the truck in the first place."

"He's your dad Bella...when you moved back here, it meant the world to Charlie." Jake told me. "I think he needed to feel like someone cared about him and needed him around you know?"

"I know." I nodded. "So what hope do I have of getting something then?"

"Well, I'll have a nose around and see what I can find. I'm sure I'll find something suitable." He told me. "Did you want something to eat?"

"Sure, I guess I should eat something today." I replied. Jake lifted his phone in front of me and grinned.

"Pizza?"

"Sure." I laughed. We spent the afternoon just hanging out in his garage and then ordered pizza and after I forced myself to eat the first slice the next two were easier. I was beginning to feel like I could manage. I just couldn't look back. I had to forget.

"So, me and some of the guys were planning on a bonfire next weekend if you wanted to come." Jake offered.

"Sure, I'd like that." I replied. "As long as I wouldn't be crashing."

"Nah, you're cool." He smirked. "When you're not so miserable."

"I'm not miserable." I protested.

"Bella, I may not be as sharp as your bloodsucker friends but I am not stupid." He said pointedly. My smile slipped at the mention of the Cullen's.

"It's Edward isn't it?" he asked, I tried to overcome my shock that Jake had actually used his name.

"Edward is gone." I said.

"Are you ok?" Jacob asked me.

"About Edward vanishing, no I'm pretty pissed about it." I muttered.

"So that's not the reason for that frown you've been wearing all day?" he prodded. I just shook my head.

"I'm no longer spending time with their family." I told him bluntly. "I think I've caused them enough trouble already so I'm staying away. Do you think Billy will mind if I stay here a while?"

"Well Bella, he won't mind but what about school?" he asked.

"I'll transfer here if I have to. I can't see them again. Ever." I said, my eyes began to sting and I felt Jacob's warm arms wrap around me.

"I think you ought to speak to Charlie about this Bella, but if Charlie agrees then I would be happy to have you around." He told me.

_I'm empty and taking and tumbling and braking..._

Charlie picked me up that evening and I made him dinner as normal. I didn't talk to him until he sat eating; I figured if he had a mouthful he wouldn't interrupt me until I was done.

"I've been thinking...about how you've been spending a lot of time in La Push with Billy and Sue Clearwater." I started. He just stared at me while chewing his food. "I just had this idea was all...Edward left town a couple of months ago now and it's been pretty hard being around his family."

"Where are you going with this?" he asked with his mouth full, evidently the food wouldn't stop him interrupting after all.

"I want to move." I blurted out.

"Move?" he asked. "Seriously?"

"I want to live in La Push, transfer, spend time with Jake and his friends." I explained.

"You want to live in La Push?" Charlie asked again.

"Yes." I nodded. "If Edward comes back I don't want to see him." It was a cheap shot but I knew my dad's feelings about Edward might sway him.

"Alright." He said.

Carlisle POV

"Carlisle?" Alice's voice came from the doorway.

"Come in." I told her.

"I just thought you should know...Bella's future just vanished." She said quietly.


	9. Chapter 9: Can't

Author's Notes: I'm so sorry that some of the chapters are short but it's hard to fit writing a good large chapter in around my busy schedule so I always figure short is better than none.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Can't

Bella POV

I dug around in my closet for something to wear. I needed something smart. Charlie was taking me to dinner to celebrate my graduation. I had graduated top of my class even after only transferring not four months ago. I had only left La Push about three times in that time maybe a few more give or take but I had avoided it at all costs, throwing myself into my studies and hoping that the feelings would go away.

I sighed, now everything would have to change. No more hiding, I had had nearly four months to get over my Carlisle issues while hanging out with Jake and the guys and finishing school and now I had to learn how to get on with my life properly. Living at La Push had been like a long vacation, it had been easier to pretend the whole thing had never happened but now I had to decide what I was going to do with my life next and what to do with my future. I had become great friends with everyone at La Push; some had taken longer than others to come around to the vampire lover spending time with them but eventually they all did.

"Bella, Charlie's here!" Jake shouted, banging on the bedroom door. I had been sharing Jake's room for months, each of us had bunk beds, which meant I firstly had to have the top bunk so that he didn't squash me in the middle of the night by collapsing the bed and secondly taking turns to change in the bedroom or bathroom. Jake had become the brother I had never had and his little thing for me had vanished within just weeks of us living together.

I quickly grabbed my purse and took one more glance in the mirror. I had picked my nicest dress; it was red, short sleeved and floated down to my knees. I had found some silver strapped sandals that were short enough that I wouldn't be in danger of any extra Bella moments and even tried to tidy my mass of dark waves into bouncing curls.

"Wow, Bella..." Jake said, staring at me in my red dress.

"Damn...Bella you're hot!" Jared grinned. Embry and Paul whistled also and I looked nervously at my feet at the attention. It wasn't often I dressed up and really tried with my make-up, even less often that I wore a dress. It was sort of nice to know that they at least could see the effort I had put in.

"Down boys." Charlie's voice interrupted the wolf whistles. They all laughed nervously as he entered the room. "You look beautiful Bella."

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and followed him out of the door, waving my goodbyes as I went.

Charlie drove us to the small restaurant in town and parked up. Dinner was great and it was nice to have a bit of time with Charlie without a huge crowd of teenage boys around us as well. He came to La Push nearly every day to see us all but that was just it...he came to see us all so we hadn't had much time just the two of us.

We talked about my future, all the plans I could have and I told him I still hadn't decided what I wanted to do but I was thinking of something to do with the sciences like medicine or chemistry.

"Are you staying at the house tonight or did you want a lift back to Billy's?" Charlie asked as we left the restaurant. At that exact moment my eyes fell on the passing car. It drove straight past but not before I spotted him and he spotted me. He didn't slow and he didn't stop, he just drove past. "Bella?"

"Sorry, yeah I was going to stay at the house if that's OK." I replied.

"Of course." He nodded, as we got into the car.

My mind was now solely focused on Carlisle and how that one split second had brought back every single feeling as if it were only yesterday when he...kissed me goodbye. When we arrived at the house I asked my dad if I could just go up to have a bath since the Black's only had a shower and no bathtub.

I locked the door and undressed while running the hot water until I sank into the warm bubbles and it was then that a sob escaped my throat. I had tried to forget, I really had and still months later no matter how much I ignored it...I still wanted Carlisle. I wanted Carlisle Cullen more than anything...I loved him. Shit...

_I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams  
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me  
I feel so bad, I feel so bad  
You were the best I ever had_

I loved Carlisle...not just a crush, not just a passing attraction, not just caring. I loved Carlisle so much that it hurt and now he may never want me. That was my plan of course; that I cared about him and his family too much to tear it apart but...would he see it that way? Would he really be any happier in a marriage that had long ago died? I fumbled for my phone and desperately waited for an answer.

"Bella!" Alice's voice exclaimed. "I can see you again thank god! It was driving me crazy not knowing how you were!"

"Alice." I said softly, I felt another sob stuck in my throat. "I need to talk to Carlisle, it's important."

"I know." she replied. "I see again Bella, I see everything...all the choices...this is wonderful." I couldn't help but laugh through my tears at how happy she sounded. I heard muffled voices and then heard the phone being passed over. There was silence and then I heard a fuzzy noise like someone had blown into the phone before silence again.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice finally came on the other side. All I could do was sob in response. "Bella, are you alright?"

"Carlisle I-" I started though tears.

_Honey why are you calling me so late?  
It's kinda hard to talk right now  
Honey why are you crying, is everything okay?  
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud_

"Bella talk to me." He said softly.

"I can't forget." I sobbed.

"I was going to call you in the morning also, I didn't know if you'd be asleep...or if it would be welcome." He said. "mia cara why are you crying?"

"Carlisle I-I miss you." I blurted.

"Where are you?" he asked.

"In the bath." I replied uneasily.

"No, no Bella. I meant where are you as in whether you are at the Black's or at your father's." He chuckled. I felt myself blush even with no one around to see me.

"Oh, sorry I thought you heard the water and wondered what it was." I replied quietly. "I'm at Charlie's."

"Then if you would like perhaps I might pay you a visit..." he suggested. I nodded frantically before my brain registered that he couldn't see me.

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name  
It sounds so sweet  
Coming from the lips of an angel  
Hearing those words it makes me weak_

"Yes...Charlie is asleep downstairs already; I can hear him snoring from here." I replied.

"Then please, name a time and I will be at your service." He replied.

"Just give me about ten minutes." I replied.

"Then I will see you soon mia cara." He said softly, hanging up. My heart pounded furiously in my chest as I dropped my phone to the floor so that I could get out of the bath and drain the water. Gathering my clothes and wrapping my towel tightly around my body I left the bathroom and quickly dug out some pyjamas and started to dry my hair before Carlisle arrived. I chose my black pyjama trousers and vest top that were flattering but not indecent to be seen in. I noticed that my make-up was now smeared down my cheeks so I quickly found a face wipe to clean it off. I was so nervous it took great effort to sit and dry my hair without giggling in excitement or bursting into tears.

Carlisle POV

I swear I could feel my dead heart hammering in my chest as I laid eyes on Bella in that beautiful dress, it showed the perfect paleness of her skin and darkness of her hair. It was impossible of course but it was as if my brain could remember the sensation.

I heard Alice practically shout down her phone in excitement but the only word I heard was Bella and paid no attention to a word after it. I was standing by Alice in an instant.

"Carlisle she asked for you." She told me.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

"Why don't you speak to her, you know your desperate to?" Alice smiled, passing me the phone. I darted to my study; phone in hand before putting it to my ear.

"Bella?" I asked. I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone and felt my body urging me to go to her. I needed to comfort her. It almost hurt to hear her cry.

I heard snoring upon reaching Bella's house, which confirmed that Charlie Swan was asleep downstairs. I heard another sound from upstairs which led me to Bella's window, which I could see from here was cracked open at the bottom.

I leapt up to the window and tapped it lightly; Bella didn't hear me as she was drying her hair so I carefully entered the room. I could barely contain the raging storm of emotions that coursed through my body as I watched her. I carefully laid a hand on her shoulder to alert her to my presence. I reached my other hand out to catch her hairdryer as it slipped from her hand and she spun around to look at me. I turned it off and placed it on the desk as she stood, her huge chocolate eyes never leaving mine.

"Bella." I whispered, the hand on her shoulder sliding down her arm to grasp her hand.

"I'm sorry." She croaked out, I noticed the tears filling her eyes already and squeezed her hand in mine.

"Whatever for?" I asked.

"I'm couldn't forget, I can't pretend." She whispered, her voice cracking mid sentence. I tugged her to me gently until our chests touched and my arm slid around her waist to hold her there. My control once again was gone; as I tilted her head and covered her mouth with my own.

_Now I'm here to say I'm sorry  
And ask for a second chance_

_Cause when it all comes down to the end  
You were the best I ever had_

"I wouldn't want you to." I groaned against her lips, pressing her warm body as tightly to mien as I dared. I trailed my lips to her throat and neck until I reached under her ears. "No more pretending." I murmured in her ear, nuzzling her there.

"W-what's going to happen?" she asked quietly.

"What is going to happen is that I am utterly in love with you Bella Swan, and I plan on spending my entire existence ensuring your happiness." I told her, kissing her again.

"But Carlisle..." she started and I knew her reservations already.

"Mia cara, if you do not want me, if you do not love me then all you have to do is declare as much and I will speak no more of it." I said, stroking her cheek. "But if you were to feel for me, as I feel for you then I would be able to inform you that I filed for divorce but two days ago and as much as my family means to me I would risk everything for you. I do hope however that they would be supportive of me in finding happiness."

Then Bella did cry as she wrapped her arms around my waist as tight as her human arms could and cried against my chest. I do wish I would stop causing her to cry. She reached up on tiptoes to kiss me; I flavoured every soft kiss from her warm lips.

"I love you." I breathed between her kisses. I had never in my existence held such a certainty that there was a God. Only God could have given me such a gift.

"Now Bella the next few months will probably be very difficult for us both..." I started but our moment was interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket.

"Alice." I answered.

"Carlisle, something's happening." She said hurriedly.

"What did you see?" I asked.

"Trouble; more vampires are coming here." She told me.

"When?"

"I can't tell. That's not all...I got the feeling that something from my vision is missing." She said. "As if there are large chunks of it cut out."

"What's wrong?" Bella asked me. "What did Alice see?"

Author's Notes: Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think I always appreciate people taking the time to review it inspires me to bang out those chapters that much faster!


	10. Chapter 10: Mysteries

Author's Notes: I'm so sorry that some of the chapters are short but it's hard to fit writing a good large chapter in around my busy schedule so I always figure short is better than none. Big thanks to my wonderful beta JenJenSon as always!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this story it is for fan purposes only**. **

Mysteries

Bella POV

I had changed out of my pyjamas and into some warm clothes before Carlisle snuck me out of the house but I did leave a note on my bed for Charlie just in case he did happen to wake up before I returned saying that I'd got a phone call from Alice and that she needed me but I'd be safe and call him if I wasn't home before he left for work.

I knew though; that he would worry that it was Edward I had gone after.

"My lady?" Carlisle enquired politely, holding out his arms to me. I glanced nervously at him before stepping towards him. He reached his arms out to gently stroke my waist, turning me side on to him before bending and effortlessly lifting me into his arms bridal style as if I weighed nothing more than a small pile of clothes. I could feel my cheeks heating up from the proximity to him. We hadn't really been close very often without it being a heated thing. This wasn't like that at all but having had my eyes opened to Carlisle in that way it was hard to ignore now.

He carried me silently jumping from the window and landing elegantly on the ground before we evaluated our transport options. We decided to take the truck purely because if Charlie found me gone and found the note he would expect my truck to also be gone.

"Hop in Bella, I'll push you out of the drive and a little way down the road." Carlisle said, as we got outside. That made sense since there was no way Charlie wouldn't hear my loud truck starting. Carlisle pushed me a little way down the road and then climbed in the truck next to me. "What's the matter?"

"You drive." I said, getting out and walking round to the other side allowing him to move to the driver's seat. "I don't think I could drive with a vampire watching me." And that was the whole truth, I was nervous enough already.

"I assure you, you would have been fine." Carlisle chuckled, starting the engine and pulling away as I strapped myself in. I wrung my hands together in my lap for a few moments before speaking up.

"Carlisle, what did Alice see, I mean really?" I asked quietly.

"Our kind, they've been sniffing around here for a while. Did your friends at La Push not tell you anything about it?" he asked, I shook my head in response. "There have been some incidents with other vampires in the area."

"So when Jake said about vampires being the reason for the pack it wasn't just you guys?" I asked. This was an interesting revelation. Jake blamed the Cullens for him being a werewolf every chance he got when he first changed, so it was interesting to learn that it was not strictly true.

"No, although I'm quite sure our presence doesn't help either." He replied. "So far they have successfully kept the vampires away from Forks but judging by Alice's visions they won't be able to do so for forever."

We got to the house and suddenly I hesitated. Carlisle picked up on it straight away and squeezed my hand. We hadn't actually finished our conversation on what we were going to do; we couldn't just turn up acting like a couple because I think everyone would want us to fill in the blanks. What exactly and when exactly were we going to tell them? I didn't want to hurt Esme; who had been nothing but kind to me and I didn't want to hurt Edward either...despite his disappearance and I most certainly didn't want to tear their whole family apart.

"Bella?" Carlisle murmured, his gentle voice coaxing my gaze up to his. "If you do not wish to say anything we won't."

"I'm just not sure I can handle it tonight." I whispered. "But we'll have to tell everyone soon right? They'll probably guess otherwise, but we need to actually talk and decide what we're going to say..." Carlisle nodded in response and climbed out of the truck. I followed him up to the house trying to calm my nerves the whole time. Jasper would spot them a mile off. I tried to overpower them with my excitement to see the family.

"Look who I saw back in town." He called as we walked through the door. Alice's gaze flicked over us cautiously, I could practically see what she was thinking.

"Bella!" Emmett boomed, wrapping his arms tightly around me and spinning me around. "Long time no see!"

"Hey Emmett." I smiled, hugging him back as tight as I could. I had missed him, so much. He had a very similar affect to Jacob on me, the big brother I never had. I felt an overwhelming sense of love in that moment, the family kind of course. Still being held in the air by Emmett I placed my hands either side of his face and covered him in kisses. "Missed you." I told him quietly.

"Aw Bells." Emmett said embarrassed and ruffling my hair. I tried to forget everything about me and Carlisle in that moment, knowing that once everyone knew everything would change. For now I wanted to enjoy this moment with my family. I hugged Alice tightly next and Rosalie. It was strange to think that when I first met this family Rosalie hated my guts and Jasper couldn't come within a few meters of me. I continued to hug my family one by one enjoying the love that Jasper seemed to be amplifying and projecting back at us. The only sad part was that one person was missing...

No matter whether I wanted him as a boyfriend or not I still cared about him, he was still family. He still belonged here.

"Anything new Alice?" Carlisle asked, breaking the silence. Alice looked at me nervously and then back at Carlisle. "I see lots of different things happening, as if someone is changing their mind on purpose...and holes in it too."

We all sat down while Alice told us about the different things she had seen. Then she hesitated when coming to her next story.

"What's wrong?" Esme asked.

"I'm not sure how to tell you the rest but...Edward's gone. I can't see him anymore." She replied. "I've been seeing so many different visions I thought that was the cause of it until earlier today. Even when I really tried to focus on him; I just couldn't see him. I'm sorry..." Alice let out a quiet sob, even though no tears followed. Jasper reached to take her hand, offering her comfort. Everyone else was silent; I saw Esme shaking her head slowly and Carlisle hang his head, burying his face in his hands.

"How long ago did you stop seeing Edward in your visions?" Carlisle's voice almost croaked as he spoke.

"Nearly two weeks ago. I noticed blank patches before that but I thought it was him deliberately messing with my visions...maybe someone hurt him or something..." she whispered. I could barely hear her with my human ears.

Now the guilt hit me and Jasper's head snapped up, his eyes locked on mine. I felt even worse knowing he knew how guilty I was...all my emotions bared to him. I stood up abruptly causing everyone to focus on me.

"Bella, this isn't your fault." Jasper said.

"I have to go." I said, leaving the room.

"Bella? You just got here." Alice called.

"I'm sorry, I'll be back I just...I need some time." I murmured. I didn't dare look at Carlisle, knowing the game would be over if I did.

"I think after everything that has happened that you should have someone escort you home, we'll need to keep an eye on you." I heard him speak up.

"I'll call Jake." I said quietly. "I need to talk to him anyway. I'll call." I said the last part to Alice but we both knew that those words were actually directed at someone else in the room.

Jake had met me at the end of the Cullen's driveway and climbed into my truck, once again I gladly gave up the driver's seat. As he drove us to Charlie's; I told him everything Alice had told us and he phased quickly when we first arrived home, relaying it to the pack. I couldn't sleep now.

While I had been hiding in La Push, Edward was...well who knew? Was he dead? Add Carlisle and I to the equation and the guilt was crippling, let alone the nightmares that someone was out to get me. As Jake and I went inside we had obviously woken Charlie.

"Bella? What are you doing?" he asked, groggily leaning on the doorframe.

"Sorry Dad." I replied. "I got a worried phone call from Alice and had to go and check that she was alright. Jake spotted me on the way back home and didn't want me driving around alone at night."

"That's because you shouldn't be driving around alone at night." Charlie said, rolling his eyes. "Well it's gone midnight so I'm off to bed. Don't stay up too late you two."

We did stay up late. Jake and I put on a comedy movie to take my mind off of everything and the next thing I knew it was morning and I woke up curled up against Jake as he sat on the couch with his head thrown back snoring loudly.

"Charming." I murmured to myself. I got up and stretched my aching muscles to see Charlie stood in the kitchen pouring his coffee.

"Something I should know?" he asked, smirking slightly.

"Dad, you know it's not like that with Jake." I yawned, heading into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I know." He replied, sitting down at the table. "I always did wish you had a brother or sister to have around."

"Well, I've got Jake for that now so it doesn't matter." I shrugged, getting myself some juice and trying to sort my hair into some kind of remotely tidy ponytail.

"So everything with Alice was alright?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, just girl stuff." I replied to keep him out of it. Then the snoring stopped and sure enough a few moments later Jake groaned and stood up from the couch. "Morning!"

"Urgh...morning Bells...morning Charlie" he mumbled, stumbling into the kitchen. I laughed at his ruffled hair and screwed up half asleep face.

An hour or so later Jacob and I were in a much better state to get on with our day. I gave him a lift back to La Push and we discussed a few important matters on the way. It did seem like the vampires the wolves were facing were definitely trying to reach Forks.

"I think maybe we could work out some kind of temporary truce if Sam would be interested." I told him. "I know that the Cullens would be grateful for the help even if you aren't exactly best buddies."

"He might, it depends on what the conditions were of course but I'm sure we could...if not get along we could at the very least work together on a purely temporary basis." He replied carefully.

"Exactly, I'm not asking you to love them or anything." I laughed. Jake stiffened in the car.

"This will do Bella, I'll call you later but Sam needs me." He said quickly, reaching for the door handle before I'd even stopped moving. "You should go to the Cullen's now and talk through this truce of yours."

"Ooo...kay?" I said to myself as he vanished into the trees. Great! Now what had I said?

Carlisle POV

"Carlisle! I just saw Edward!" Alice exclaimed. Everyone was all ears as Alice elaborated. "His future is still blank but I can see him coming here to us." I couldn't help the leap of joy that filled me a the knowledge that my son was indeed alive. I also prayed to God that he would be able to control himself around Bella

Just then I heard Bella's truck pulling up the driveway.


	11. Chapter 11: Exposure

Author's Notes: And here we go again, drama drama! I hope you're all enjoying it so far and I hope you enjoy the chapters to come they promise to be dramatic and saucy! A big thanks to all of you that reviewed! I really am grateful for all your support, especially those of you who have been following several of my stories. Big thanks and virtual hug for my beta JenJenSon as always!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters and make no money from this, it's just for good old fun! The lyrics are from Hurts – Illuminated which some of you may have heard on the sky advert. It's a good song you should all go download it!

Exposure

Carlisle POV

Bella got out of her truck and I watched her from the upstairs window. I saw her hesitate as she made her way to the front door, probably nervous after everything that had happened so far. I didn't know whether the news that Edward was alive and coming here soon would make her better or worse.

"You've decided to stop fighting it then?" Alice breathed next to me so that no one else would hear but me. I nodded. "For a while there I thought all was lost when Bella moved in with the dog, but fate has its ways. You haven't decided when to tell everyone though?"

"How can I tell Esme Alice?" I asked her, feeling my own face contort in pain. "She's been by my side for nearly a century and although the love hasn't been there for some time I owe her more than this."

"Yes, but you can't help who you fall in love with Carlisle and in your situation I'm sure many others would have done the same." Alice said, hugging my arm. "But you do owe her the truth Carlisle and before she finds out for herself. Jasper has it pretty much gathered already and the only reason no one else has is because Bella loves us all very much and Edward leaving was bound to affect her badly...but they will guess if you don't do it soon and the outcome...won't be good."

"I don't think I can hope for a good reaction no matter what I say." I murmured. "Esme is the mother of this entire family...am I doing the right thing Alice?"

"Love is always right Carlisle, even when it's not easy." She smiled softly. "Edward will be here in a few hours, we should warn her."

"No." I said quickly, "Don't tell her. She'll only worry for the next few hours and react just the same anyway. Let her enjoy the next few hours." Alice nodded once before bouncing from the room. I heard her open the front door and greet Bella warmly.

Edward POV

Time waits for no one,  
So do you want to waste some time,  
Oh, oh tonight? 

As I came up to the house I immediately noticed Bella's truck in the driveway, I could smell her in the house...as I got closer I could hear her laughter. I could hear my family laughing with her and immediately regretted trying to keep her from them. She had been human for all these long months around my family and was obviously still perfectly happy...the problem had been me.

I entered the house silently and found them in the living room. Bella, Emmett and Jasper were playing Twister and Alice and Rosalie were looking at a magazine together. I spotted Carlisle coming downstairs with a book in his hands and he was the first to see me.

"Edward." He greeted me. "We've been waiting for you." I suddenly had everyone else's attention and in true Bella fashion I saw her slip and land ungracefully on top of Jasper. Jasper was the most surprising one to see interacting with Bella, without my bloodlust for her, he had been able to interact with her fine. Emmett stood up and lifted Bella up before placing her firmly on two feet and Jasper got up after, as Alice skipped to his side. Rosalie came up the other side of Bella almost threateningly...only now it was me she was glaring at.

'_you are an idiot'_ she thought loudly.

Esme and Carlisle came to greet me, Esme hugged me warmly and for a minute I forgot why I had come.

"Edward..." Bella croaked out, looking unsure whether to speak or not. I didn't blame her; I had left her without a goodbye or an explanation. Now I had a lot of explaining to do...

"I promise I will explain my actions later Bella, in private." I told her, "But right now I have something important to tell you all."

'_Like why you didn't even say goodbye_.' Came Rosalie's sarcastic thought.

'Like how I can't see your future.'

"You can't?" I asked Alice curiously, she shook her head and pouted.

"We were really worried." She said. "Carlisle and I thought maybe the wolves had killed you." I watched as the rest of the family glared at them, obviously they had not shared their thought with the others.

"Well as you can see I am in one piece." I smiled, "But the wolves have probably been the reason you haven't seen me Alice, I've been spending a lot of time with them recently."

"Why?" Alice exclaimed; the disgust in her voice, causing everyone to laugh.

"It's a long story and the details aren't pretty, I'd rather fill you in when we have more time." I replied. "However, having spent some time with them I happen to know some information regarding the vampire attacks and have come with a solution."

"Really? Spit it out then." Alice said suddenly a bit more excited.

"He's going to ask us to work with them." Bella said softly. I met her gaze and smiled brightly at her.

"As a matter of fact, yes." I replied. "Sam is willing to come to a more relaxed arrangement to enable us to end the problem."

"So that's the holes in Alice's vision? The wolves help us so she can't see everything?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm not sure; we only decided today." Edward replied.

"No, if they hadn't decided yet that can't be it. Someone is playing with the blind spots in my vision somehow, they're not deciding on anything for certain." Alice said quietly.

"So they know us." Jasper concluded. "Which means they're here for a reason."

"The Volturi?" Carlisle asked.

"No I would have seen something to do with them; they're too big to hide from my visions completely." Alice shook her head.

"And they would just come straight through; they wouldn't worry about playing chase with the wolves to get here." I agreed. My eyes flickered to Jasper as his thoughts caught my attention. "That was my theory."

"What?" Bella asked, looking around at us in confusion.

"He thinks Victoria has something to do with this." I replied.

"I haven't seen her." Alice said. "Would she really start a fight over this? If she knows about the wolves she's going to come back with numbers to keep them busy."

"We killed her mate; wars have been started over less." Jasper shrugged, his accent leaking out a little.

"In which case we should definitely go and talk with the pack." Carlisle said.

"That's why I came. They'll be waiting for us at the boundary line near the big clearing where Emmett...decided to use a tree like a baseball bat on me." I felt my lips twitching as I tried not to laugh at the memory. "I'd like just a word with Bella before I go."

"I'm not sure you should be left alone with her." Jasper said, "Not until you've hunted just in case." I frowned, I hadn't realised Bella would be here and that was the only reason I hadn't done just that. I felt a stab of bitterness and guilt that not so long ago I was having this conversation with the roles in reverse. I just hoped nothing happened at the meeting before I had a chance to explain.

We started out of the door but were interrupted as we got outside.

"Hello? Human here!" Bella shouted, still stood in the living room.

"Sorry Bella!" Alice and Jasper said in unison. I felt like I should be the one carrying her, I had managed to be closer to her before and was sure I'd be fine as long as she wasn't bleeding in any way but Emmett had beaten me to it.

"Sorry Bells." He grinned, darting back outside with her on his back; her laughing and hugging him tighter.

"Sometimes we just forget you're still human." Alice said. "You're just my sister to me." I felt a twist in my stomach at the thought of Bella being turned into a monster like us. I had never wanted that for her. By this time we were at the clearing so I didn't want to bring that conversation up. As the wolves emerged from the other side Jasper's thoughts again caught my attention and caused my whole world to freeze.

'_Geeze he's frustrated...wait 'til he finds out the rest..._'

"Rest of what?" I asked him.

'_Crap! Sorry Carlisle_.' "Nothing much." He shrugged trying to block his thoughts from me but it was too late.

"Carlisle?" I asked him. Jasper was now refusing to think about anything but army generals and as I looked to Carlisle he was also blocking me.

"Not now." I heard Bella's plea loud and clear through my vampire ears even though she had barely whispered it. I looked at Bella who was looking at Carlisle pleadingly and suddenly it made sickening sense.

Suddenly my eyes are open,  
Everything comes into focus, oh,

"Carlisle?" I roared at him; getting everyone's attention, wolves included. "Tell me it's not what I think it is." I saw his eyes slip to Bella apologetically before walking towards me.

"I am afraid it is exactly what you think it is." He said softly.

"How could you do this?" I asked, my whole body shaking with the betrayal of it all.

"Did I miss something?" Emmett asked. Rosalie and Esme looking just as confused which begged the question; why did Alice and Jasper know but not say anything? Bella slipped down from Emmett's back and stood next to him, I could see the guilt all over her face.

"I think perhaps this should be solved when we don't have such a large audience." Carlisle said quietly, glancing to the pack looking on.

"Will someone please fill me in here?" Esme asked.

"Yes, Carlisle would you like to fill everyone in on how you felt the need to have an affair with my mate!" I spat. Esme's face crumpled and instantly I regretted her finding out like that.

We are all illuminated,  
Lights are shining on our faces, blinding

"That's why you wanted a divorce?" Esme asked him softly, he nodded. "I know we haven't been man and wife in the true sense of the word for a long time Carlisle Cullen but don't you think you should have just told me?" Now she looked pretty hurt and angry.

"It's my fault." Bella said, stepping in front of Carlisle.

"You were so desperate to get someone in bed with you; you couldn't wait for me to not kill you in the process is that it?" I sneered, moving closer to her, snarling. Instantly my whole family was in front of her protectively, all save Esme who stood just behind them still trying to understand what exactly had happened. I laughed out loud. "So my mate sleeps with my father and you all take her side?"

"This isn't about sides Edward, hurting her won't help." Alice replied.

"We didn't sleep together." Bella said, weaving through my family to face me herself. "I didn't sleep with him and if you are supposed to be my mate where exactly have you been all these months?"

Then a loud bark and snarl interrupted us as a large wolf pounced in front of me.

"Leah!" I shouted, "I'll handle this!"

"Leah?" Bella gasped. "So when you said you'd been spending a lot of time with the wolves recently you actually meant Leah?" I nodded, guilt creeping up on me. I was no better than her really...not after this, but I was planning on telling her everything.

"Can we all take this down a notch before I start going hulk on everybody?" Jasper asked.

"Alright, so Edward you've spent the past months in La Push with a female wolf?" Esme asked. I nodded.

"Impossible. I've been living in La Push for months trying to avoid Carlisle." Bella exclaimed.

"So that's why you didn't visit." Emmett said thoughtfully.

"Alright and Bella you were both in La Push to avoid Carlisle?" Esme asked. Bella nodded. "Can I just ask why?"

"I thought I could forget all about him and avoid...well this pretty much." She replied. "I never wanted to hurt any of you, you've all tried so hard to look after me...I was trying to save your family...this." Rosalie moved to hug Bella and Esme continued to stand between the two parties as a mediator.

"So how didn't either of you know about each other being there?" she asked. "And Edward why were you even there in the first place?"

"I went to ask them to kill me." I whispered. "But Sam refused, as much as some of them wanted to. Then I saw Leah. I've barely left her side since. I heard the pack mention Bella but since I knew some of them were friends with her I didn't think anything more of it."

Suddenly my eyes are open,  
Everything comes into focus, oh,  
We are all illuminated,  
Lights are shining on our faces, blinding

"Jacob!" Bella shouted towards a large russet coloured wolf. He came over to us slowly, bowing his head. "You lied to me! You knew! The whole time!" Jacob nuzzled her shoulder and whimpered slightly.

"He couldn't talk, alpha orders." I explained. "To stop any of you finding out where I was until I was ready."

"We were so worried about you, and you were here?" Alice said quietly. "Hiding from us..."

"I was...worried what you would think." I replied carefully. "Leah and I..."

"So Edward, are you romantically involved with this Leah?" Esme asked. I nodded, feeling Bella's eyes on me.

"Then how could you stand there and yell at me?" Bella shouted, shoving past Esme and shoving me. I felt nothing but moved backwards anyway. Leah snapped at her and in a beat of her human heart she was stood back behind Carlisle.

"She has a point Edward," Esme said softly. "What Bella and Carlisle did was wrong but you have done the same, I think we all need to calm down. Arguing right now isn't going to help anyone; we can talk when we all have clear heads."

Suddenly my eyes are open,  
Everything comes into focus, oh,  
We are all illuminated,  
Lights are shining on our faces, blinding

"Sam wants to talk to you." I told Carlisle. He nodded.

"Can you translate?" he asked. I nodded. There was a distinctively cold feeling between us now. The man I had looked up to like a father...how could I think of him like that now?

Author's Notes: Well? I hope you liked, let me know! If you review it makes Carlisle horny!


	12. Chapter 12: Aftermath

Author's Notes: sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy it none the less. Hopefully I don't disappoint and there's plenty more coming. I have so many more ideas I have to get out for this story. As always a big thanks to my beta JenJenSon and if you haven't already check out her story, it's brilliant and super hot!

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and I make no money from this story it is purely for my own entertainment. I also don't own the lyrics, they're from Hurts – Stay.

Aftermath

Bella POV

The meeting with the wolf pack was tense but they managed to come to an agreement in the end. The treaty would still stand; the wolves didn't really want the Cullen's on their land after all but their boundary lines would be relaxed to allow both sides to better chase any intruders. After the meeting was over Edward stood a short distance away with Leah obviously conversing using his gifts because she refused to be around us in her human form. I couldn't hear what Edward was saying though.

Jake came back in his human form in a pair of shorts and headed directly to me. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off as I happily greeted him...with a punch in the face. Was it satisfying, hell yes! Did it hurt? Fuck yes! I yelled and span away from him clutching my hand. Carlisle had my hand cradled in his cool ones instantly, swiftly checking it over. The coldness of them felt good on my already throbbing hand as I blinked tears away.

"Jeeze Jake you just broke my hand!" I yelled.

"You punched me!" he protested.

"Bad ass!" Emmett exclaimed from behind Carlisle. Jasper chuckled, followed by Rosalie and then the ice was broken as the whole family were laughing at my situation. I even saw Carlisle's lips twitch as he stroked my hand.

"It's not broken." Carlisle murmured, "But it'll probably swell up pretty badly, it'll be sore for a few days at least."

"You could at least pretend it hurt you too." I muttered at Jake.

"Sorry Bella." He replied, trying not to laugh himself.

"You lied to me Jake." I sighed, tearing my gaze from Carlisle's hands still cradling my injured one.

"You lied to me too." He countered.

"You should have told me Edward was at La Push this whole time." I huffed.

"I couldn't have; Sam placed a gag order." Jake explained. "You could have told me you were doing it with his dad."

"Jake! We were not doing it! I'm still..." I trailed off suddenly embarrassed. "Anyway we're just going around in circles now so let's just say we were both wrong?"

"Deal." Jake smirked.

"So Edward really came to Sam and asked him to kill him?" I asked.

"Something Paul and I would have gladly done too but unfortunately he was saved..." Jake replied. "Leah imprinted on him so he's untouchable now."

"What?" I blinked.

"If a wolf's imprint dies it's like...the world is over. It would hurt the pack too much to do it." He replied.

"Intriguing, a wolf can imprint on other beings not just wolves?" Carlisle asked Jake curiously.

"Apparently." Was Jake's only response.

Edward POV

'_You are your problem you blood sucking moron_?' Leah practically screamed in my head. I winced; I knew I should have chosen my words much more carefully. '_Your mate is she? Then what exactly am I supposed to be_?'

"You know very well I didn't mean it the way it sounded." I replied nervously.

'Sure you didn't.' She replied, rolling her eyes. Even as a wolf she was adorable. The instant I had laid eyes on her I could feel myself drawn to her. She explained the imprint to me almost straight away. Not romantically in the slightest of course, that wouldn't be like her. She practically spat the words at me as if disgusted. The funny thing was that she didn't seem to find my smell that bad, in fact she said she couldn't smell me at all and if I'm honest I couldn't smell her either but I wondered if it was more to do with her being a female wolf since males are generally the animal that marks territory with scent. We fought like crazy, but keeping away from her was impossible.

"It's the principle that bothers me Leah. My father has broken his wedding vows to steal my girlfriend who I hadn't even gotten around to finishing with yet." I explained. "It's a territory thing; she's off limits to my family."

'_If you don't love her, why does it matter_?' she scoffed. '_Stupid male pride, get your head out of your ass!_'

"I do love her." I replied. I saw the flash of hurt in Leah's eyes before she could hide it. "I love you more." She just nodded in acknowledgement but turned her tail and left without looking back. Wonderful...

Bella POV

Leah and Jake left and Edward stood with his family unsure whether to follow Leah or stay. I stepped closer to Carlisle seeking some kind of reassurance. His hand slid around my waist to press against the small of my back, keeping me close to him. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and cling on for dear life but I knew that maybe the family wouldn't want it rubbed in their face so soon. Thankfully Emmett seemed to sense my dilemma and as Edward approached tugged me away from Carlisle and wrapped his arms around me protectively. I leant back against his enormous chest and felt safe. I felt a small smile slip onto my lips; Edward wasn't laying a finger on me.

"Carlisle how could you?" Edward murmured, he looked genuinely hurt and I felt a sinking feeling in my gut and my smile slipped away again.

"She isn't destined for you Edward." Alice said softly. Carlisle still looked guilty though and I knew then that Carlisle and Edward would never be the same again and it was my own fault. I had driven a wedge between father and son and I couldn't take it back.

Two weeks had passed and neither side had managed to take down the intruders. Carlisle and I hadn't seen much of each other and when we had it had been at my house to minimise the awkwardness. It hadn't helped much though. Edward and Carlisle wouldn't even speak now and it was like a giant black hole sucking the life out of the family. Jasper hated being around any of us because we all felt miserable all the time. The family was falling apart...again.

I knew what I had to do.

I left Charlie a note and made sure I kept changing my mind, focusing my mind on so many different things that maybe Alice wouldn't see but to be honest I wasn't sure exactly how to block her visions properly so I just did my best. Then I grabbed my bags and went downstairs to my car. I now had an old Ford that Jake had helped me find and that looked just as beat up as my truck had been although it was a tad newer and a tiny bit faster. Carlisle hated it. He said it was a death trap and someone who was as big a danger magnet as me should have a more reliable car. He offered to buy me one once, just something small and sensible and I admit I was tempted but I couldn't accept it.

I hadn't bothered packing much because it would be easier to travel without too much to carry. I had to get as far from here as possible before Alice saw. I had to get somewhere sunny.

I gazed out of the windscreen remembering every last detail as I went, typically for Forks it was raining. With every sign I passed I nearly turned around as I felt the tears overflow and cover my cheeks.

_My whole life, waiting for the right time,_

_To tell you how I feel_

'Dad

Sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person but I'm not very good at them. Don't worry about me too much, I'm going to visit mum for a bit and taking a detour to look at some colleges between here and Jacksonville on the way. I'll call you every day to let you know I'm safe.

Love you'

Carlisle POV

I had committed possibly the worst act that a father could. I had effectively stolen my son's girlfriend. He loved her; whether the match was right or not was irrelevant...she was off limits.

Still...there was no way I could possibly pretend it didn't happen. I couldn't forget her and I couldn't ignore her. I couldn't spend my entire existence without her...but I couldn't fully enjoy a life with Bella if I lost my son because of it.

'_Cause I know this love seems real_

_But I don't know how to feel..._

'_Edward_' I thought loudly. He came to my door as I expected he would.

"Carlisle." He nodded.

"Do you love Bella?" I asked him. He nodded once. "Are you in love with her, do you still wish to pursue a romantic relationship with her and her alone?"

"No." He sighed, bowing his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I love her son. What I did was unforgivable but all three of us were guilty parties here, I cannot bare the responsibility alone." I told him. "I cannot do this without your blessing."

"Carl-"

"You don't have to like it, or want to see it. You can ignore it all you like but I just want your blessing, Bella deserves better than us spending the rest of our lives feeling guilty; don't you agree?" I asked him. Edward didn't answer; instead he span around quickly just before Alice entered the room.

"How long ago?" he asked her.

"I'm not sure, I see the future not the past." She replied, before meeting my gaze. "Bella's gone."

I couldn't speak for a moment, I felt a pure rush of fear and hurt wash over me followed by panic as Alice and Edward continued to talk and Alice tried to explain.

"She hasn't decided where she's going yet; I think that's deliberate to keep me out." Alice whispered. "She left a note for you in her room. She's...at a train station or an airport maybe."

"Why?" I breathed.

"Guilt." Jasper's voice came from behind Alice.

"Have you two seen yourselves these past weeks? It's heartbreaking! I don't blame her for not wanting to be the cause of it." Rosalie added joining us. I glanced at Edward guiltily.

"Go." He said, I opened my mouth to reply but he beat me to it. "Go after her; it's too dangerous for her to be alone. Someone is still after her."

"It's definitely Bella they're after?" Rosalie asked.

"I think so." Edward nodded. "I didn't want to worry her by telling her so if it turned out not to be true."

I didn't wait to hear the end of that conversation I was already downstairs and out of the door. I headed straight to Bella's house making sure to take my car. Luckily for me Chief Swan wasn't home yet as I pulled up outside the house. I entered the house through Bella's window; she had obviously left it open for this exact reason. True to Alice's vision, on Bella's bed lay a folded piece of paper.

'Carlisle

I can't even think of the right words to say. All I can say is that I'm sorry, I love you and I hope you can find a way for your family to be happy again.'

_Know I try to, tell you that I need you,_

_Here I am without you_

_I feel so lost but what can I do_

I dialled Bella's number as I headed back to my car; just as I expected, no answer. I dialled Alice next.

"Alice, have you got any clues yet?" I asked as soon as she answered.

"I saw her car in Port Angeles in a car park, I still can't tell if it's a train station, bus station or airport." She replied.

"Well, it's a start." I sighed. "Let me know if you see anything else."

"Straight away." She promised. I got in my car and headed straight out of town. I was just glad it wasn't a sunny day so far and was grateful for the tinted windows of my car just in case. I had to find Bella...before someone else did.

Bella POV

I slouched on the bench waiting for my train. I knew that they would expect me to take a plane straight to Jacksonville to see my mum so I figured a train to a city somewhere was a better idea. Or so I thought...

A shadow crossed my feet and I stared at the high-heeled black boots in shock not daring to look up.


	13. Chapter 13: Wounds

Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. Here's the next part and I hope it lives up to expectations so far. Many thanks as always to my beta JenJenSon. I would also like to mention that the trailers for this story are on youtube and the links are on my profile page so please check them out, share them and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the characters and make no money from this story it is purely for entertainment purposes.

Wounds

Bella POV

"Bella?" a familiar voice asked. My head snapped up in surprise. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She sat down next to me on the bench and I let out a sigh of relief. "You gave everyone a bit of a scare you know? It's far too dangerous for you to wander off alone given the current situation."

"I know." I murmured. "But I think I've already asked enough from your family don't you?"

"Bella what you did may have been wrong but I don't blame you for it." Esme said softly. "I truly think of you as one of my own and I have spent nearly a century by Carlisle's side; I just wish one of you had told me the truth."

"We meant to, but to start with we tried to pretend nothing had happened. I thought it would go away." I replied, my voice cracked halfway through but I was trying desperately not to cry. What right did I have? Esme was the injured party here more so than anyone else. "We had only decided that we couldn't ignore it the night he brought me to the house, when Alice had her visions. Of course there were other things that got in the way first and then it was too late."

"I should have guessed." She sighed. "I knew something was wrong but I just assumed he'd had enough of pretending. Did he tell you he asked me for a divorce a month ago? We started the paperwork a few days ago."

"He mentioned it but only the other day...I didn't know he was considering it for so long. I'm sorry Esme, I really am." I sobbed. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Esme wrapped her arm around my shoulders and I heard her take a few unnecessary deep breaths and a small sob of her own.

"I know, you can't help who you love and I know Carlisle and I aren't meant to be anymore. I just thought that after all of these years the least he owed me was the truth." She whispered. "But that's Carlisle for you, instead I bet he spent hours in his study feeling guilty and ashamed when all he had to do was tell the truth."

"You would have really been ok with that?" I asked quietly.

"The whole family loves you Bella, you belong with us." She replied. "It would have worked out just fine. It will work out just fine. We just all need to let time heal the wounds and get on with it, believe me running off isn't going to fix Edward and Carlisle's problems."

"I just felt like it was all my fault." I sighed, hanging my head.

"I think there are at least two others who you can share the blame with Bella, no one is perfect." She smiled. "Now since Alice let me have a head start I can guarantee that Carlisle will be here any moment. I should leave you two alone."

"Thank you." I said, hugging her as tight as I could. "For everything." I watched her dark coat blow behind her and listened to the clicking of her heeled boots as she went and then cried. Esme's husband had cheated on her with her son's ex-girlfriend and she was the one sat here comforting me...making sure I didn't leave. I laid down on the bench and thrust my fingers into my hair in frustration. Now what? I couldn't leave now, not if it wasn't going to do any good...

Carlisle POV

I could smell her now, she was close. I span around searching for her and sure enough my eyes locked on her small form curled up on the station bench. I approached her quietly and crouched down next to her.

"How many times are we going to do this Bella mia?" I asked her softly.

"Sorry." She whispered, wiping fresh tears from her face. I leant closer and stroked her face, her skin so soft and warm.

"I love you Bella, do not make me give you up so soon." I murmured, taking her hand and pressing it tightly against my lips. It was then I caught another scent. "Esme?"

"She was here." Bella replied. "She came to talk to me." I felt myself frown slightly, realising that Alice must have told her where Bella was before she had told me, knowing how worried I was...

Bella sat up and I took a seat next to her on the bench, still clasping her hand tightly in mine, afraid to let her go.

"She was comforting me Carlisle." She sobbed, her body practically collapsing against mine as she cried harder. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer. "She should hate me."

"Ssh...Esme could never hate you." I soothed. "Never." I waited while she calmed down and stopped crying. After a few moments of silence had passed she finally broke it.

"What happens now?"

"We go home." I told her. "It is not the same in that house without you Isabella Marie Swan, so I am afraid you are stuck with us."

"Okay." She said quietly, a small smile gracing her lips as I stood and offered her my hand. "Let's go home then." She flushed as she took my hand and I tugged her lightly to her feet. There was no turning back, no walking away; this was Bella and I from now on.

Bella POV

Carlisle released my hand almost immediately leaving me with a stab of disappointment before he slid his arm around my waist, securing me next to him. I saw the women watching us, I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world right then. Carlisle truly was handsome, beautiful even and having him holding me so close to him, showing everyone I was his...caused butterflies in my stomach almost as strong as his kisses did.

"So what exactly did you tell your father in regard to your impromptu disappearance?" he asked me as we exited the train station. I let out a groan of horror and hung my head.

"I left him a note; we have to see if we can get to it before he does." I said.

"I shall call Alice when we reach the car park and ask her to deal with it." He assured me.

"On the topic of cars..." I started; he turned to face me as we reached the car park. "I sort of killed mine on the way here..."

"Killed it in what way?" he asked amused.

"It broke down just round the corner; I probably have a parking fine by now." I replied.

"I'll get it towed." He sighed. I smiled at him gratefully. He sure enough called for a tow and much to my amazement I hadn't yet received a ticket so that was a bonus. I followed him to his car and he called Alice to explain about the note. He spoke fast and low, so I missed most of their conversation. He smirked slightly as he hung up and started the car. "Were you really planning to visit and colleges on your way to Jacksonville?"

"I was considering it." I said defensively. I felt nervous...Carlisle and I hadn't really had much of a chance to spend time together freely. Everything so far had been stolen kisses and rushed encounters and suddenly we were allowed to be together.

"Is there a reason that you look so smug over there Miss Swan?" Carlisle asked, pulling onto the 101 that would take us to Forks. I noticed that he was driving particularly slowly, could he have just realised the very same thing I had? Or was he just playing human particularly well?

"Time." I replied softly. A small smile crossed his face and he reached for my hand.

"If it were not for the current predicament Bella I would certainly be treating you to dinner instead of heading straight home." He murmured. "Never the less, Alice seems confident that whatever is happening will be very soon and then we will all have one less thing to worry about."

"Carlisle, you don't eat. I hardly think it's necessary for you to take me to dinner." I laughed, drawing a chuckle from his lips also.

"If it makes you uncomfortable what would you rather?" he asked.

"I don't know...I've never really thought about it." I replied honestly. "I'll let you know if I think of anything."

I must have dozed off because when I next opened my eyes I was in a bed. The bed was huge and covered with violet sheets; the pillows were so soft I hesitated in sitting up. I glanced around and realised that this must be Alice and Jasper's room. I spotted the enormous closet and vanity immediately before noticing the smaller closet on the opposite side with a pair of work boots sat in front of it, the door not fully shut and the sleeve of a shirt trapped in it. There were lilies in a vase on Alice's side of the bed and a small stack of old, well read books on the other. It was touching to see how different the couple were and yet how they shared this space.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." Jasper's voice drawled causing me to jump. He sat on the floor near the window...in face he looked like he'd been there the whole time. "Sorry to startle you."

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"Mid-afternoon." He replied.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked nervously.

"Sorry Bella, the past few months have been rather awkward for me with all the emotional roller coasters." He explained. "When you're asleep, if I just focus on your emotions I get to sleep too."

"What like actually sleeping?"

"Well, not exactly." He admitted. "But it's like a shut down for me, it's a relief."

"Oh, well I'm glad my being human has at least one redeeming quality." I grinned. He got up and sat on the bed next to me.

"Bella, we all love you. You have no reason not to have every confidence in yourself." He told me firmly, dropping his arm over my shoulders. "Alice once told me that there would be more people to join our family before it was complete; you're like that darlin', one of the missing pieces." I leant against him as he squeezed my shoulder.

"Thank you." I murmured. He got up and moved to the bedroom door, the minute he opened it, a cheerful Alice entered with a plate in hand. She presented me with the plate containing a sandwich and then a cup of coffee from her other hand.

"Surprise!" she grinned.

"Alice, it's mid-afternoon why are you brining me food in bed?" I laughed. Jasper excused himself from the room and Alice sat herself cross-legged at the end of the bed.

"Because you haven't eaten lunch yet and I thought you'd be more comfortable eating and tidying yourself up without an audience." She replied. I leant my head to the right to glance in the mirror as Alice stifled a giggle.

"Yeah, good idea." I agreed. "I can't believe you guys managed to get me from the car to here without me even waking up."

"Well, you did wake up, sort of." Alice grinned. "When Carlisle and I brought you up here you told Carlisle he smelt nice and when I tucked you in you obviously thought it was Carlisle because you asked me for a kiss."

"I did what?" I gasped, feeling myself flush.

"Yeah you did, but I only kissed your forehead." She replied. "I love you, but I didn't want to risk being pulled into a steamy kiss with my sister."

"Oh god, can I die now?" I groaned.

"So eager for death?" Edward's voice chimed.

"Is every member of this family going to march in here to witness the human in bed?" I asked.

"My apologies." Edward smiled. "I was just coming to request a talk with you, when you're done in here of course."

"Um...sure." I nodded, biting my lip.

Half an hour later I followed Edward out into the garden. The ground was soggy beneath my feet but it was no longer raining.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, as he started into the trees at the edge of the garden.

"Just a little way into the words, I wanted to talk to you in private." He replied. "Don't worry, Emmett and Carlisle and some of the wolves are running patrol right now and we won't be long." I nodded and followed him until he stopped in a small clearing. "Bella I just wanted to talk about everything."

"I'm sorry." I burst out. He spun around and took both my hands in both of his.

"I'm sorry too." He said softly. "I should have just told you I was leaving and why."

"Why did you leave exactly?" I asked, thinking back to the accident just before Christmas...it seemed so long ago now.

"Bella, I love you but...Alice was right the whole time. You don't belong to me." He whispered.

"That's just it Edward, I don't _belong_ to anybody." I told him, tugging my hands away from his. "That is the exact problem we have. I love you, but we don't work. I can't have you choosing my whole life for me, even if it's what you think is best for me. I deserve to make my own choices and my own mistakes."

"I was only trying to protect you." He replied quietly. "But you're right, I handled things badly. I cannot lie and say it doesn't affect me to see you with someone else, especially Carlisle; but I can't stop you either. He loves you. My whole family loves you."

"I know." I whispered. It was true; I knew that they loved me. I saw it and felt it in everything we did together. I had never felt anything like it.

"What happened with Leah...I'm sorry about how it happened and how you found out but I will never be sorry it happened." He said, his face twisting with emotion.

"You love her." I nodded, realising that he really did love her. "Then I'm happy for you."

"Things may be awkward to start with but Bella I'll always be a part of your life. I'll always be here." He said, stroking my cheek softly. "And you couldn't have found anyone better than Carli-"

"Edward?" I asked. "What is it?"

"I can hear their thoughts they're close." He said. "Jacob and Leah found them."

"Where?"

"They're outnumbered."

"Go." I told him.

"No, that's what they want, you alone and unprotected." He said, shaking his head. "they'll already know you're here." He snapped his head to the right suddenly and a howl broke out, I saw his face contort and I knew he was making a tough decision.

"Go!" I shouted. "Help them!"

More to come! Remember reviews make me type faster meaning you get a horny Carlisle sooner!


	14. Chapter 14: Risk

Author's Notes: Hello everyone! Here's the fight. I warn you that there's a lot of POV switching going on to keep the fight moving about nice and quick and keep everyone on their toes. As usual a big thanks to JenJenSon for all her help. So on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, the characters and make no money from this story it is purely for entertainment purposes.

Risk

"Edward?" Bella asked, as my focus shifted from her. "What is it?"

"I can hear their thoughts, they're close." I said. "Jacob and Leah found them." I was trying to see everything through Leah's head. Victoria was there, I recognised another face as a missing person from Forks...there was at least half a dozen others with them but I was pretty sure there were more lurking in the trees behind them.

"Where?"

"They're outnumbered."

"Go." she told me. I wanted to, every part of me wanted to run to them but I couldn't leave Bella unprotected; that would be exactly what Victoria wanted. She would know that Bella and I were close already; they were waiting to see what we would do. She wanted us to come closer.

"No, that's what they want, you alone and unprotected." I told her firmly, shaking my head. "They'll already know you're here." Victoria was obviously getting impatient because she ordered the other to attack. Jacob dodged the first and slammed straight into the second, he was good, he'd actually fought a vampire before, Leah had not and although she was fast I cringed and snapped my head desperately, about to run to her as one caught her around the middle. She yelped in pain and it crushed her. Newborns...

"Go!" Bella shouted. "Help them!"

"Jasper and Alice are just coming through the trees." I told her, kissing her forehead softly and darting towards the fight. I was by Leah's side in less than a second and tackled the newborn off her before snapping it's head clean off. Jacob had finished one and I helped him with a second. Victoria was gone just as I knew she would be.

Bella POV

I held my breath as Edward vanished and the trees around me rustled. Immediately in front of me Victoria appeared with her malevolent grin and her wicked flame hair.

"Well Bella, long time no see." She smirked.

The next thing I saw was her take a step towards me and then a blur before I was staring at Jasper's back. He snarled at her and she hissed back.

"Hey cowboy." She smirked. "Moving in on your brother's territory now are you?"

"She's not Edward's mate." Alice's voice chimed, as she appeared next to Jasper. "She's my sister, and I love her." How was it that Alice managed to look so chirpy in even the worst of situations?

Victoria turned to run just as the rest of the family arrived.

"Alice, Esme take Bella back to the house." Carlisle's voice commanded.

"No." I said, as Alice stepped closer to me. "No splitting up. I'm going with you." Carlisle hesitated before nodding once and swinging me effortlessly onto his back.

"Alright, let's go!" Emmett cheered as we headed after Victoria.

We came out into another clearing where Victoria now stood taunting Edward in front of a human Leah on the ground. I felt my stomach lurch at the sight. There were now a dozen other vampires but more of the wolves had also arrived. Emmett and Paul started a competition, counting their kills as they went. I couldn't see much; most of the fight was a blur to me. Carlisle and I stayed by Leah, out of the way.

Edward POV

I noticed Victoria start for the trees again, she had obviously realised her fight was lost. She had been counting on the wolves and us not working together; our alliance had thrown her plan into a tailspin. I took one glance at Leah before going after Victoria. She was going to pay for this. For Bella, for Leah and putting my whole family in danger, she was going to pay.

I was faster than her and caught up quickly. She used the trees to change direction, dodge around them to slow me down but I caught her none the less. Nothing was more satisfying than crashing down on her and tearing her arms from her body before twisting her head off. I flicked my lighter and set the pieces on fire, watching to make sure they caught alight fully before I headed back to the fight.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Carlisle POV

Leah suddenly started shaking violently. I leapt forward, trying to examine her as best I could in the midst of things. It looked like she was bleeding internally. I met Bella's gaze gravely. Leah was going to die and if he didn't come back soon she wouldn't even last long enough for Edward to say goodbye.

I heard a noise behind me and spun around. Bella was gone. I glanced around quickly not knowing where she had disappeared to, I tried to catch her scent but it was already all over the place, I couldn't pinpoint where it was strongest due to the smell from the fires. Luckily I didn't have to, Jasper leapt over Leah and disappeared into the trees.

"I'll get her back." He called.

Pretty soon my family were piling the remaining pieces they could find on the fires with the wolves. Some had phased back some not; Sam Uley came over to me and Leah.

"Is she going to be alright?" he asked. I shook my head, no. "Wolves heal really fast you know."

"I don't think it's fast enough for Leah." I said quietly. Just then Edward came through the trees, I wanted nothing more than to run after Jasper and find Bella but I knew if there was a chance for Leah I was it and if I didn't do anything Edward really would never forgive me. I had made a tourniquet on Leah's leg where the bone had broken through the skin to try and stem the bleeding but if she was bleeding internally I didn't hold out much hope; not laying in the middle of the woods, even in a hospital her chances would be slim.

Bella POV

I didn't see or hear my attacker. A hand covered my mouth and nose and then a blur was all I saw as I was carried away. Suddenly I was thrown from their arms and saw the tree moments before impact. The wind was knocked from my lungs as after hitting the tree I fell to the ground. I coughed to breathe trying to gain some awareness of what was happening.

"You do smell..." Riley whispered, inhaling my scent deeply. "So good." I recognised him from the posters at the police station; he was from Forks. Then for the second time I felt the pain of sharp teeth piecing my skin as he started to feed from me. He was in a frenzy; feeding messily because I could feel him tearing at my flesh, it burned and stung and there was a distinct pulling sensation as he drank and then it was gone.

For a moment I thought that was it, I was dead but then I opened my eyes just in time to see Riley's torso being thrown onto a fire. Then the burning was there but...I could barely feel it now. I felt tired. I felt numb and cold. I tried to focus on the face of my rescuer as my vision blurred, it was too late. I was going to die.

Jasper POV

I took advantage of the vampires back being turned while he fed to go straight for his head; I tore it off in one smooth motion before throwing his body away from Bella also. It was a quick kill. I went to Bella, the smell of her blood was overwhelming, I felt the venom pool in my mouth at the scent of it but one thing stopped me. She was dying. There wasn't enough blood left. She couldn't stay awake or focused. I lifted her head to look at me.

"Bella darlin', can you hear me?" I asked. Nothing. I growled in frustration, judging how long it would take to run back to the others with her. Damn it why didn't someone follow me? I couldn't suck the venom out, she was going to die and she was going to die before the venom changed her. "Sorry Bella." I murmured, before sinking my teeth into her neck first and then into her chest right above her heart. Having been part of a vampire army for so long I had found that this was the best way to change someone, focus on the area around the heart so that it pumps the venom around faster. I felt so guilty that she hadn't asked me to change her, I had to do it anyway because she was going to die and I know she did want it...I just don't know if she was ready for it.

Edward POV

I crouched down over Leah's body as she thrashed and twisted wildly, her eyes were rolling and she was struggling to breathe.

"You have to help her." I told Carlisle.

"It's too late; there is nothing I can do." He replied. "The only choice that you may have is to change her and that may not even work."

"Turn her into a leech? I don't think so." Jacob snapped.

"Would you rather her dead?" Alice asked him.

"Would it work?" I asked Carlisle, knowing Leah would hate me for the decision I was considering.

"It might, however she's not entirely human; her body is built to be a vampire's natural enemy it is possible that she would react badly to the venom." He explained. "You must decide quickly, you don't have much time."

I didn't think, I just leant forward and sunk my teeth into Leah's hot skin; her blood felt like it was burning my mouth, her skin had been harder to break than a normal human's and her blood didn't hold any appeal. I moved to another spot and repeated the process until I had left bite marks on her neck, arms and legs.

"What now?" Sam asked.

"We wait." Carlisle said, "Edward, I have to go find Bella." I nodded, suddenly realising that both Bella and Jasper were missing.

Suddenly Leah started screaming, her skin was healing...was it the venom or her werewolf DNA that was healing her?

"I am going to kill you." She hissed at me, her arm snaking out to grab my arm painfully. Venom… definitely venom. I tried not to smile at the situation, it wasn't a good one but at least it looked like I wasn't going to lose her.

Carlisle POV

I headed in the direction Jasper had gone, to start with I couldn't pick out any scents due to the fires still burning but then I was hit by Bella's scent and it was strong, she was bleeding...a lot.

Emmett was right behind me Rosalie behind him as we followed the scent.

Nothing could have prepared me for the sight I found. Bella lay on the ground, screaming and writhing in pain much like Leah had been from her injuries. Jasper sat on the ground a few feet away in a crumpled heap. When he looked at me I could see the pain he was in and then I could feel it, feel the pain and guilt.

"Jasper, we need to move you further away, you're projecting." Rosalie said to him, touching his shoulder. Rosalie had always been very much like a real sister to Jasper.

"I'm sorry Carlisle." He croaked, allowing Rose to help him stand. I reached for Bella and through the pain some part of her must have registered my presence because she reached for me, clinging to my shirt and moaned out my name. I lifted her into my arms carefully but tightly, she was still thrashing from the pain of the venom and I didn't want to drop her.

I followed Emmett back to the others. Rosalie and Jasper had already gone.

Edward POV

I spotted Jasper and Rosalie coming out of the trees and heard Jasper's thoughts instantly. As soon as Jasper began to feel Leah's pain also Alice excused herself and Jasper and they headed back to the house. It had to be hard feeling the pain of the change every time someone goes through it somewhere near you. Most of us tried to forget the violent, torturous pain that brought us into this life but Jasper had to relive it.

So Bella was also going through the change right now...I had never wanted that for her but Jasper had nothing to be guilty for, there was no other choice for Bella; only death. I wasn't ready to lose her completely yet, not to death.

In fact I was proud of my brother, he had struggled with his bloodlust the most between being empathic, Bella's blood singing to me and his past and yet today his love for Bella, his determination to save her had given him the strength to change her. Now our already large family was going to be two larger. I just hoped that Leah wouldn't actually kill me when she woke up. Who knows what kind of vampire she would turn out to be, a wolf to a vampire...definately one of a kind, but she was always that to me anyway.

Author's Notes: What are Leah and Bella going to be like when they wake up? Will Leah's change even work? Come back to find out soon! Let me know your thoughts also xx


	15. Chapter 15: Awake

Author's Notes: Well, it's a been a while...sorry about that but here it is! The next part where Bella wakes up! A big thanks to my beta JenJenSon as always for all her help. I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this.

Awake

**Twenty minutes later, at the Cullen House...**

Someone was screaming, it was deafening...they sounded possessed. Why didn't someone help them? Then I realised that it was me. I felt like I had a cramp in every muscle of my body, like my skin was pressed against hot metal but I couldn't move off it because it was inside me. I had no control over myself now; I could feel my body contorting in strange ways under the strain of the fire raging its way through my veins. I tried to tell myself it would be over soon, it would be worth it...but as the moments passed I just wanted it to end. I wanted to scream at someone to just shoot me, stab me...anything to stop what I was feeling now. Surely by the time this was over I would be insane...

**Six hours later...**

I didn't know how much time had passed but I was exhausted, my muscles burned from moving and my lungs were scorched from screaming. I didn't think that I could physically take any more pain. I had asked for this, I had practically begged for it and now I regretted every word. Would I feel that way when it was over?

**Sixteen hours later...**

Surely it would be over soon. I couldn't breathe anymore, I felt like my throat was constricting every time I tried to inhale breath. I could barely move now. My body had had enough; it was broken.

**One day later...**

There was a staggering in my heartbeat, I felt it clearly, heard it beating wildly as if it were a drum next to my ears. It would beat faster before faltering and slowing down again, this went on for some time before it continued to slow. Every beat seemed to get louder as my heart started to beat so slowly I could count in between the beats. Then nothing. A blank.

A few minutes later I could hear something. I focused on it and realised that the pain was gone now, fading from my limbs as if it were never there. The sound grew clearer; it was voices. I could hear laughter but it sounded like it was from below me. I slowly opened my eyes and stared up at a white ceiling. It was brighter than I remembered. I sat up and glanced around, everything was brighter. Then I noticed the blonde figure sat on the chair against the wall watching me. He looked completely non-threatening, just patiently waiting there.

"Carlisle?" I asked softly, gasping at the melodic sound of my own voice and clapping my hand to my mouth. "My voice!"

"Is beautiful." He whispered, he didn't make any attempt to move closer yet. "Alice was right, your change was faster than expected, how are you feeling?"

"Fine." I replied. "How long was I-"

"Just two days." He replied. I took in his glowing blonde hair, his smooth pale skin, flawless...his eyes so warm and inviting. He was even more beautiful than I remembered him.

"Is everyone else ok?" I asked, suddenly remembering the events that had led up until this point. Carlisle just nodded. I took a few moments to remember my human life, remember faces and names, my fondest memories with this family, the important events that had led to this part of my...life? Was if called life now or was I just undead?

"Are you not thirsty at all Bella?" he asked me. I shook my head but then sure enough when I thought about it I could instantly feel a burning feeling in my throat. I felt something strange wash over me; it seemed to ease the thirst a little. Odd. Carlisle stood slowly and stepped forward to offer me his hand. I got out of the bed at took it. He smiled at me strangely so I raised my eyebrow in question. "I am not accustomed to seeing you move so fast." He explained.

"Or so gracefully." Another voice called dryly from the doorway. I spun around defensively before registering that it was Rosalie. She was even more stunning through my vampire eyes.

"Lookin' good Bells." Emmett grinned.

"Where is everyone else?" I asked Carlisle quickly.

"Esme and Edward are with Leah at the moment. Alice has gone to find Jasper so that he can come and visit us after we hunt." Carlisle replied. I processed this information realising that Jasper wouldn't be able to be in a house where he could feel all the pain, but Leah was new to me.

"Leah?" I asked, this house was probably the last place Leah would ever come.

"I would be more than happy to explain, after you have hunted." He replied, gesturing to the window. "Let's go." He led me over to the window, his hand hovering on my back but not getting too close. I was nervous, I had never really thought about hunting before, I didn't know how...

"Have fun!" Emmett called from behind me.

"She will." Rosalie replied smugly. Suddenly I felt very excited and as Carlisle slid the window open I hurled myself out of it to the floor, amazement filled me as I landed on my own feet somewhat gracefully and raised myself from my crouched position cautiously as Carlisle landed neatly beside me.

"That was weird." I commented.

"It will take a little time for you to get accustomed to the changes to your body." Carlisle said softly. "This way."

I followed Carlisle into the trees running, everything seemed to blur at first but then I could see everything clearly, as if I was just walking past, in fact still clearer than if I were walking as a human. It was brighter; there were colours that I have never even noticed before. The sounds and smells were louder and stronger. Carlisle started to slow and I quickly did the same, realising that I had overshot the spot he had stopped at by a good two hundred yards I quickly skipped back to his side.

"What can you hear Bella?" he asked me, leaning down so that his words floated next to my ear. I unconsciously tilted my head towards him.

"Everything." I replied.

"Focus Bella, Listen really hard. Ignore everything but your instincts." He murmured. I did, or rather I tried but the only thing my instincts were aware of to start with was Carlisle standing so close to me. He didn't even feel cold anymore. Then I did notice something, a heartbeat. To start with I thought that it was mine but then remember I no longer had one, then the burn in my throat got stronger and I knew I wanted it.

"I want it." I whispered, more to myself than for any other reason.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Carlisle replied, although I had already started moving before he finished. I found it perched on a large branch of a tree near the stream. It fought but the fight didn't last long, I was stronger, faster...it's fur and flesh gave way easily under my teeth and soon it's hot blood filled my mouth. When there was no more I tossed the carcass to the side, it rolled off of the branch and landed on the ground in front of Carlisle's feet. "Better?"

I glanced down at my reflection in the stream and shuddered. My hair was no different than usual, perhaps the curls were more defined than before, my clothes were pretty ruined, the mountain lion's claws had torn through the material easily, but no marks were left on my now exposed skin. There was blood smeared down my chin, which I quickly wiped away, ashamed of myself. Then I noticed my eyes; I dropped from the tree to the ground, staring closer into the stream. My eyes were bright red, almost luminous in colour. I looked away and stared at the ground. I looked horrible.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice called from a few meters away. Even Carlisle was obviously scared to get close to me. Newborns were monsters. I was a monster. I heard a noise and snapped my head up in the direction it came from. Jasper stood opposite Carlisle and I. I quickly relaxed my stance from where I crouched ready to attack and stopped the snarl in my throat somewhat embarrassed that I had nearly pounced straight at Jasper.

"Easy Bella." Jasper drawled. "Go easy with her Carlisle but I don't think she's a threat." I looked back and forth between the two. Threat? "She's very controlled and aware for a newborn, disturbing really but she feels in control."

"Do not take any offence Bella, newborns can be very dangerous, they are a great deal stronger than us and Jasper is just ensuring that it is safe for you to be alone with any of us and not be a threat." Carlisle explained.

"Don't be ashamed darlin'." Jasper murmured, stepping closer. "You're not a monster and you've done nothing wrong." I knew he felt my disgust at myself. Then I felt guilty. "I'll see you both later." He nodded once more and then he was gone.

I turned back to Carlisle to find him closer to me again, I stepped back a little defensively but once I realised that it was Carlisle I smiled sheepishly at him.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I guess that's the kind of thing Jasper meant huh?"

"Something like that." He replied, reaching out to take my hand in his. "Still thirsty?"

"No, not really." I shook my head. I still felt pretty ashamed at myself; it was causing me to lose my appetite. I wondered if this was how Carlisle managed to resist human blood and start his vegetarian lifestyle? Was it his self-loathing that was so strong it put him off of human blood?

"So I suppose, now would be a good time to fill you in." He smiled.

"Please." I replied. He led me to a broken tree trunk and sat us down, although I didn't feel like I needed to.

"What do you remember?" he asked.

"The fight, it's a little blurry. I remember Leah was hurt and Edward went after Victoria. I remember...Riley." I shuddered. "He took me away from you and...he bit me, then he was gone."

"I didn't see which way you went, I wanted to go to you but I was still trying to stop Leah's bleeding, I was just about to try and scent you out when Jasper got there first, he had seen Riley take you."

"I remember, Jasper was there...I couldn't see him very well but I heard him." I whispered.

"I can never apologise enough for allowing Riley to get to you in the first place." He said softly, treading his fingers through mine and gripping my hand tighter. "Jasper had a tough choice to make and very little time to make it, I'm very proud of him for what he did and I know I would have made the same choice in his place."

"I'm glad he did." I replied. "What happened to Leah? Isn't she healing? Is that why she's at the house?"

"There was no way to save Leah either unfortunately. Even with her ability to heal faster than a human there was no way she would heal fast enough to stop the internal bleeding she suffered, her broken ribs had damaged several of her major organs. Edward decided to change her also." Carlisle explained. Even with my improved brain I froze on hearing that.

"He what?"

"He changed her. Well, hopefully." He corrected. "She is still changing, in fact she is changing much slower than usual but as far as I am aware no one has ever tried to change a werewolf before so the result will be a surprise to us all."

I stood in the kitchen of the Cullen house staring out of the window. The last three days were a blur of pain and new things. My change had only taken two days; something I had to thank Jasper for. He had not only saved my life and controlled his thirst for my blood but also managed to change me in a way that made the change faster for me. I hadn't seen him since the brief encounter in the woods though. Jasper and Esme had stayed out of the house as much as possible for the past few days, Jasper because he could feel the pain that Leah and I were feeling going through the change and Esme to keep him company when Alice wanted to be here, although I had to think that it was also to get some distance from Carlisle and I. When Esme was here she was tending to Leah.

Leah was still changing; apparently it was taking longer than normal. A werewolf seemed to be almost opposite a vampire in so many ways; they were hot instead of cold, they went through massive growth spurts and vampires didn't change at all, their hearts beat ever so slightly faster than a humans and a vampire's didn't beat at all. Carlisle seemed to think it was these opposites that were causing the change to take longer than normal and estimated it to be another day at least. It was hard to be certain of course because Alice couldn't see her, she had kind of blurred into Alice's vision but wasn't exactly visible to her yet. Alice was hoping that Leah joining the family wouldn't blur her visions permanently.

I was struggling to manage my new strength and the emotions that went with it. I seemed to break nearly everything I touched, and I felt everything, my emotions were even crazier than my teenage hormones. I kept having strange strong feelings taking over me. Every now and then it was as if I could still feel the venom burning through my veins, torturing me all over again.

"Are you alright my love?" Carlisle soothing voice drifted over me, as he entered the room.

"Just processing." I replied, as I felt his arms slide around my waist. He lowered his head to bury his face, nuzzling my shoulder and neck. I moaned softly and leant back against him, feeling my lust starting to spike. We hadn't been particularly close since I woke up, everything was so new I think he was content to give me all the time I needed, though I would be the first to admit that on several occasions when my emotions had gotten out of control I felt the urge to throw the idea of taking our time out the window and throw myself on him.

"Where did Edward go?" I asked, trying not to focus on my body's desires right now.

"It would seem that being able to hear your lover's every thought when they are in excruciating pain is getting to him, understandably of course." He explained. I nodded. "It is hard enough just watching, I cannot even begin to imagine watch it must be like for Jasper to feel it or Edward to hear every thought."

"Horrible." I agreed. "If I can still feel it I dread to think..."

"Feel what?"

"The burning, it might just be in my head though or perhaps I'm just confusing it with my thirst." I said thoughtfully. "Do you mind if I go for a quick hunt?"

"I'm just about to go check on Leah but certainly one of the others would be happy to join you, unless you would rather wait for me." He said.

"I'll go with her." Jasper's voice came from behind. "I came for a visit but as you can imagine it's not all that pleasant for me in here at the moment."

"Great." I grinned. I bounced to stand by Jasper but Carlisle caught my arm and span me back to him until I was pressed against the front of his body. He bent down and placed a few soft kisses against my lips and smirked at me in very unlike Carlisle way.

"Have fun." He told me. "Don't be gone too long."

After hunting with Jasper I collapsed down in the damp grass and moss of the garden just outside the house enjoying the slightly sloshing full feeling I now had. It didn't last long before I felt the tingling burning feeling in my throat again though. What was going on with me? Was I broken?

"Bella?" Jasper's voice asked, "Are you alright?"

"Sorry, I just seem to find it hard to forget the pain." I replied, shuddering slightly.

"Are you thirsty?" he asked. I shook my head. "What pain are you talkin' about then?"

"The burning; from the change." I shuddered again. "It's like I can still feel it every now and then. How long will it take to stop?"

"I'm not sure, that's actually not something I've heard of before and I've seen a lot of newborn in my time." He replied, staring at me curiously. We spotted Edward heading back into the yard and then into the house and Jasper's head snapped towards mine suddenly. "Bella can I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure." I replied nervously.

"Have you felt anything else...unusual? Out of place maybe?"

"All sorts." I replied.

"Just a moment ago, Edward was pretty miserable when he walked past, did you feel that?" he asked, suddenly the penny dropped. I did feel that. In fact I could feel Jasper's curiosity and fascination right now.

"Does this mean I can feel things like you?" I asked.

"Bella, believe me you are an enigma all of your own, but it does appear that you have some kind of empathetic ability." He chuckled. "I don't think the pain you're feeling is yours; I think that it's coming from Leah."

"So I'm not broken?" I asked hopefully. Jasper burst out laughing aloud at that and swung his arm over my shoulders.

"No Bella you're not broken." He grinned. "You're just special."

"Well, that's nothing new." I muttered. Then I smiled to myself. I had a power. I suddenly remembered something that I couldn't believe I had forgotten and turned to Jasper sadly. "Jasper, what am I going to do about Charlie?"

"Alice replaced the letter you left for him." He replied. "It gives us time to decide what we're going to do. All you have to do is call him every now and then. Actually Esme spoke to him in town yesterday and told him Alice went with you so he's not worried yet."

"But what's going to happen when I just never get to Jacksonville or never come back?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry Bella." Was his only reply, letting me feel how sincere his apology was. He wasn't just sorry for that fact I wouldn't get to see Charlie anymore, he was saying sorry for changing me.

"Don't feel guilty." I said. "This is what I wanted. You saved my life Jasper." I let my happiness and pride rise to the surface hoping he would be able to feel them nice and clearly. I hoped Jasper would be able to teach me how to use my power properly. I hadn't really got the first clue.


	16. Chapter 16: Frustration

Author's Notes: And here's another chapter. Thanks to all of my loyal readers that have read most of my Twilight stories so far. I really appreciate you all! A big thanks to my beta JenJenSon as always for all her help. I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or the characters and make no money from this.

Frustration

Carlisle POV

It had been three days since Bella had woken up; we hadn't managed to spend much time together to discuss our relationship or even what Bella was going to do in the immediate future with regard to her father. She had actually spent a great deal of time out of the house with Jasper; since her empathetic ability seemed to be what was causing her discomfort in the house which only got worse over time once she was aware of it, and Jasper started to help her learn how to use it. I had to admit that I felt a small amount of jealousy that it was not me, that was able to teach her such things and that she was spending less time with me but I also knew that it was a ridiculous feeling to have. Bella was just adapting to her new life it was silly of me to get overprotective of her.

Bella was adapting surprisingly well, she had encountered a human scent on a hunt with me yesterday but due to her ability was able to focus on my feelings rather than her own, since I was almost immune to the scent. Since then we had worked out that Bella should be fairly easy to control as long as she was with me, all she had to do was focus very hard on just my emotions. Jasper thought the idea was pretty incredible and felt a little foolish for not thinking of it himself.

"Carlisle it's time." Alice's voice chimed. "I can see her now...we could do with everyone upstairs."

"Alright." I nodded. I headed upstairs as Alice bounced into the front room to tell the others.

We all stood behind Edward at the bedroom door, everyone anxious and excited. Since Alice could now see Leah I could safely assume that the change was complete and that she was no longer a werewolf but there was always the possibility that she could be something in between.

"Where am I?" a voice demanded. Edward stepped slowly into the room first.

Edward POV

I approached her slowly, making sure she knew I wasn't a threat. She was even more beautiful than I had imagined she could be. Her skin, though paler still held more colour than the rest of us, her hair was longer and shiner, every piece of exposed skin showed flawless smoothness and toned muscles.

"Leah." I croaked out. I just wanted to run to her, clutch her as tightly as I could and never let go but I knew that would startle her and end very badly for me.

"Oh great." She muttered. "What the hell have you done?" I grimaced to myself, I knew she would be mad but I had hoped I wouldn't have to explain myself straight away.

"To right you have to explain yourself! What gave you the right to make me a stinking bloodsucker?" she snapped. I narrowed my eyes at her curiously; I could hear the family behind me just as confused. She was out of bed now and she looked pretty pissed.

"Leah, you were dying." I protested softly.

"I would have healed! I'm a wolf!" she growled. Carlisle stepped into the room behind me and Emmett followed.

"Even your ability to heal faster would not have saved you. You would have been dead." Carlisle confirmed for her.

"I'm dead now." She hissed. I just wanted to hold her and make it all right, try to take all the anger and pain away but unfortunately she wasn't going to be interested in getting close to me in her current mood. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" This time there was no mistake; the whole family had gathered just inside the doorway all looking pretty confused.

"I didn't say anything." I replied calmly. '_Can you hear me Leah_?'

'_Jesus he's really lost it_!' "Of course I can!" she snapped.

"_Edward is she doing what I think she's doing?" _Carlisle asked in his head_._

"Yes." I replied. "I think so."

'_Are they insane? I am so out of here_!'

"Leah, I think you can hear people's thoughts just like me." I explained before she got any ideas about running out on us. "Will you allow us to do a test? I will think of a colour and you tell me what colour alright?"

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Green." Then her eyes widened suddenly as if suddenly realising that she had heard me say something without my mouth opening.

"What about Carlisle? If Carlisle thinks of a colour can you tell us which one?" I asked. I heard Carlisle think of the colour blue but Leah just shook her head. I stepped closer to Leah, one slow step at a time until I stood right in front of her. '_I can hear you and you can hear me. Can you hear anyone else?_' Leah was silent for a moment and then shook her head again.

"She can only hear me." I said aloud for the other's benefit.

"Interesting." Carlisle mused.

"Like the pack? They could hear each other's thoughts but only each other's unlike Edward." Bella said.

"That's probably not far off." Carlisle agreed. "Perhaps Edward is her new pack so to speak so she is now able to hear him as he is her."

"Could it be something to do with Edward changing her?" Jasper asked. "I changed Bella and she's an empath, Edward changed Leah and...you know she doesn't feel that thirsty either..." Jasper's thoughts became sidetracked as he noticed that the second newborn of the family was also in amazing control of themselves. Leah was more aggressive than Bella, but Leah was pretty aggressive anyway.

Hunting with Leah had been interesting; she was wild and thoroughly enjoyed herself. It was incredible to watch her. We raced and I won but it was pretty close. Leah was still mad at me, mostly at the discovery that she could no longer phase.

"What are you smiling at?" she demanded, tossing her last victim to one side. "You think this is funny?"

"No, not funny." I replied.

"Too right it's not! You ruined me! I'm not me anymore." She spat, marching over and poking me in the chest accusingly.

"Would you rather be dead?" I asked her.

"Yes." She replied. '_No_'

"You don't mean that." I said quietly.

"Get out of my head!" she yelled, thumping me on the chest.

"It's not something I can help beautiful, you know that." I told her, reaching my arms around her.

"At least you don't get any privacy from me either." She sighed, resting her hands on my chest.

"There's my Leah. Enthusiastic as always." I chuckled, bending to kiss her lips. This was our first kiss since the change and I lost myself in it. Her hands ran over my chest as she willingly pressed herself closer to me. I squeezed her tighter and slid my hands to her behind. "Did I mention we don't need to sleep?" I mumbled against her lips.

"Really?" she asked, jumping up to wrap her legs around my waist as I cupped her ass. "Very interesting." Our hands were everywhere. We fell to the ground, stripping our clothes as we did so. Our skin caught the sunlight every time the wind tossed the trees above us. Leah was the only person who had ever had this affect on me. Even Bella as much as I cared for her, didn't do this to me. Leah brought out parts of my vampire nature I suppressed. Her body slid up over mine, lips hovering close to my neck before licking along my artery. Lust surged between us as I stared down at her beautiful body, bared to me. Her fingers skimmed over my hard stomach, sending quivers of anticipation across my flesh. I rolled her over, letting my hand explore her body as she lay on the ground, slowly circling her breast, holding her gaze with mine and watching her eyes darken with hunger. Only not for blood; for me. I brushed my lips across hers and she threw her hands into my hair, holding my lips to hers as she kissed me back wildly. I pressed closely against her until we were so close I could practically slip inside her, but she wasn't done toying with me. She flipped us back over straddling my waist when all I wanted was to bury myself in her. She kissed me and then leaned up smirking.

"I'm still mad at you." She said matter-of-factly.

"You have a very unusual way of showing it." I smirked back.

"You want me?" she asked. I just nodded. "Then you have to catch me first." She leapt off of me and bolted before I was even off of the ground. Luckily from our earlier race I knew I was faster and before she'd even crossed the clearing I'd caught up with her. I caught her in my arms and pulled her flushed against me.

"You're not fast enough to play chase and win." I teased, kissing her again. Every time I pressed myself closer to her she stepped back until I had had enough of playing and crashed us into a tree. She kissed me with a heat and fury now. I loved the gasping moan she made as I let my fingers slide down her stomach and inside her. I kissed her again, I felt a sharp pang and realised that she had bitten my lips hard. With that I pressed myself between her legs and filled her in one long thrust.

She wrapped her arms and legs around me tighter as I moved inside her. She groaned and started to move with me, every hard inch of me was buried inside her. It wasn't long before our movements got carried away, losing all control as I thrust and thrust, her riding me just as hard until the pleasure spiralled and hit us both in powerful convulsions. I was pretty sure after this our hunting would be over because we would have scared off any animal within a mile or so radius.

Bella POV

I had a new hunting partner. Leah was the most amazing newborn ever apparently. She had blown my trick to resist blood out of the water when we discovered that Leah didn't even want human blood! At all! Something to do with her being a wolf Carlisle and Edward decided; because she was used to hunting animals as a wolf it was easy for her to only have animal blood and she was an aggressive hunter. She was however pretty pissed that she could no longer phase. Emmett loved her! It had been two weeks since Leah woke up and they were like best friends. They competed on every hunt and always came back messy. I was now a little more refined than I first was although still not exactly tidy. Leah being unaffected by human blood meant that I could hunt with either her or Carlisle and if I came across a human I could just focus on them and I was fine after a moment. I was kind of jealous though. I wished I was the one who didn't find that humans smelt liked a McDonalds or a nicely cooked steak...or a good Chinese take away...

"What are you thinking about?" Jasper's voice chuckled.

"Nothing." I said a little too quickly.

"Well whatever it was you were clearly enjoying it." He replied with a smirk. "Carlisle told you about tonight then?"

"Actually I hadn't." Carlisle's voice sounded from behind Jasper.

"Oh, sorry." Jasper shrugged sheepishly.

"What's happening tonight?" I asked nervously.

"We're going out." Carlisle announced, leaning across the kitchen counter to face me. I closed my book and met his gaze.

"Is that a good idea?" I asked.

"Not anywhere busy or crowded Bella don't panic." He smiled. "I just thought it is only right of me to take you out on some form of date since technically we are already living together, if you consent of course."

"Date? Um...sure." I replied. I tried to stop it but my brain had already gone into overdrive before I could stop it and before I could quickly get control of myself Jasper's amusement was already bouncing back at me.

"Thanks for sharing." He winked and left the kitchen.

"Do I want to know?" Carlisle asked.

"Probably not." I sighed, dropping my forehead to the counter in frustration. How was it that I could still embarrass myself this much as a vampire? Life was so unfair!

"Did you speak to your father today?" he asked, changing the subject. I nodded against the counter. "Have you decided what you want to do about it?"

"What can I do about it? Either I go missing meaning he will always be searching for me or I fake my own death!" I groaned, leaning up on my elbows. "Neither of which are particularly appealing."

"I know." He replied, stepped around the counter to kiss my temple. There wasn't a pleasant way out of this. I just had to focus on the fact that right now, I had a family that loved me and would stand by me. I had even seen Jake once since my change, it was weird and slightly awkward but he understood. The pack had waved the treaty for the case of Leah and me because for me they knew it was what I wanted and I was dying and for Leah Edward was her imprint and she was also dying. She could still hear the packs thoughts when they were in wolf form but they couldn't hear hers anymore for which she was slightly grateful. Jake said we could try to remain friends but it would always be strange because we were natural enemies. Although when I pointed out that Leah had imprinted on a vampire he had no come back.

I leant against Carlisle's chest for comfort before turning and pressing my face against his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly.

"What is the family going to do long term?" I asked. "I know we don't sleep but there still isn't enough rooms even for everyone to share any more...unless you count your study that is."

"Actually Esme is working on that right now." He replied. "There is a cottage at the edge of our property that needs some work doing to it, she's decorating it for Edward and Leah since Leah is the least comfortable here. Then either Esme or you and I will take Edward's room." It felt odd talking about sharing a bedroom with Carlisle even when neither of us needed to sleep. It still felt strange to me that I would never need to sleep again. When I thought of sharing a bedroom with someone it brought images of sleeping in my partners arms or waking up in the morning next to someone, neither of which were things I could now do. I felt a slight pang of sadness realising I would never wake up next to Carlisle or fall asleep in his arms. So sharing a bedroom purely consisted of sharing a space for clothes, personal belongings and some privacy. I waited for the heat to flare into my cheeks at that thought but it never came. In fact I was now beginning to miss things about being human.

"Carlisle do you miss me being human?" I asked, peaking up at him from my position buried in his shirt.

"There will always be some moments when I will miss things about the human Bella...but you're still Bella." He replied. "In fact I feel pretty selfish that you have now lost your human life and human family and I have been able to gain from that."

"Don't say that. This is what I wanted...I was just thinking about a few things I would miss." I replied. "Like sleep."

"I have to say I think that is what I miss most as well." He replied, leaning to kiss my nose. "After a hard day, going to sleep and shutting off. Tomorrow was a new day. Obviously the extra time is useful of course but still...sleep is something I miss."

"But really, if vampires lives forever then I couldn't possibly see the harm in losing a few hours a day to sleep." I reasoned. "It doesn't seem very fair, humans get what seventy years, more if they're lucky and spend half of it sleeping and we get forever and don't need to sleep."

"That does seem rather ironic." He murmured, running his hands from my back to my waist possessively. "But I would like to think of it as all the more time I get to spend with you mia cara."

"I'm sure you have found ways to amuse yourself for the past three centuries." I grinned.

"Nothing half as appealing." He replied, trailing kisses along my neckline. He stopped at the scar on my collarbone where Jasper's venom had left its mark before placing a firm kiss on it.

"You know that's almost like you just kissed Jasper." I couldn't help it, it was childish but it just slipped out. Carlisle just dropped his head on my shoulder muttering something so quiet that even this close I couldn't hear him.

"Smooth Bella." Emmett laughed as he entered the kitchen. "I'm pretty sure that'd knock a man down better than a kick in the balls!"

"Charming." I replied.

"but I bet I'm right." He grinned, grabbing the dustpan and brush from the cupboard.

"There wasn't really a need for you to point it out so crudely no matter how accurate." Carlisle said, raising his head. "What did you break?"

"Just the vase in the upstairs hallway." Emmett shrugged. "Rosalie's fault."

"Of course." Carlisle replied dryly as Emmett disappeared the way he had came. Then he looked at me and I felt a little intimidated under his gaze. That was of course before I found myself pinned against the kitchen counter and his lips roughly assaulting mine. I heard myself moan loudly as his tongue slid across mine and that was the moment he pulled away. "Meet me outside in two hours." He smiled and then he was gone. Oh that was not fair!

"Dr Cullen get your butt back here!" I shouted after him but he didn't reply and he didn't come back.

Author's Notes: Well get ready for Bella Carlisle's first proper alone time! Hope you enjoy. x


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